This story is probably going to make you go all C+C Music Factory when trying to place the participants. I’m there with you, but it’s this or the 24-hr Trump Channel, and we’ve got four fucking years to watch that. Steve Howey (the lanky guy that plays the bartending neighbor on Shameless) and his wife Sarah Shahi (she played a killing machine on Person of Interest – yes, I watched Person of Interest, I know, supposedly a life is arriving by Amazon drone for me any day now) are being sued by their former nanny for basically and allegedly being assholes.
According to the lawsuit filed, Sarah Alaseri was hired in 2012 to nanny Steve and Sarah’s three children. Sarah claims that Steve, who also starred on the old Reba sitcom, would verbally abuse her for being Muslim. She says that she felt that she couldn’t do her daily prayers in the house. I find it hard to believe that someone who worked alongside the down-home and earthy Reba McEntire for six seasons could be intolerant. Isn’t she a red-headed fount of goodwill from which to draw kindness and understanding? I don’t know, to me, she just seems like a nice lady.
On the opposite end of the “shit you don’t pull with your nanny” spectrum, Sarah the nanny says that Sarah Shahi was one of those people in your life who insists on sharing the intimate details of their genital adventures even though you don’t know them like that. In fact, I don’t want to hear about the specifics of your genital adventures even if I DO know you like that.
According to Alaseri, Shahi told her about an affair with an “A-list” actor who left her “sore” — and she even played show and tell. The nanny says Shahi whipped out pics of her lover’s junk, and said she wanted to “move on with her life” … without Howey.
“Sarah, can you make sure Cozumel and Andy get to their playdate on time? And just so you know, the guy I’ve been fucking around with behind my husband’s back is PACKING. I’m talking like, he has to wrap it around his ankle. Ooo, girl, I can barely walk. Look. Look here on my phone. Right? Oh, and make sure Delilah gets the organic yogurt in her lunch.”
Nanny Sarah says that Sarah Shahi was all about the sex talk and even encouraged her to get in shape and “run off” with Steve. Was he considered Sarah the nanny’s Christmas bonus? I get it. There’s dick out there that makes you sore and crazy.
TMZ says that Sarah the nanny quit after three years because she couldn’t take it anymore and is seeking damages “for back wages, harassment, wrongful termination — basically, a lot of money.”
Bringing another human being into your home on the daily to mind your children can be a dicey proposition (Hi Ben Affleck and Jen Garner!). Especially if the nanny ends up being a freak or the couple in question does. They should make robot nannies. That way you can act like a bizarre asshole around them and nobody gets hurt. Scratch that, I watch Westworld. You never know when your android is going to Maeve out and start running things.