Nearly ever national holiday, the hardest-working supermodel on the ho stroll and beyond, Phoebe Price, keeps the economy rolling along by putting on a designer bikini (hey, Walmart is one of America’s premiere fashion houses) and flashing her roasted and freckled Cornish game hens for the cameras. This past Memorial Day was no exception, and while many of us lazy bitches spent the afternoon sunning ourselves on our mom’s driveway while boozing it up with help from a wine can helmet, Chicken Cutlets actually did hard work on the beach in Malibu.
Since it’s election season, PP made her Memorial Day photo shoot so topical by posing with an official Trump sign that totally wasn’t thrown together in the car using an old pen and paper mats from the car wash. Does this mean that Jabba the Trump has won the highly coveted ginger poultry demographic and PP is officially endorsing him? Or is she just trolling for attention, which would be surprising since she never does that. Or is this a performance art piece and she’s showing us that she farts and queefs on Trump? Or is PP secretly working to destroy Trump and she’s hoping that she’ll seduce her way into his life with this hot photo shoot and then take him down from the inside? Just call her Ginger Hari. Yeah, it’s probably the last one and I totally just gave away her plan.