According to UsWeekly, Jay Z – seen above at the end of Beyonce’s hour-long avant-garde Cheaters episode (aka Lemonade) – is working on an album to tell his side of the story. A source says that he’s currently recording songs about the rough patch in their marriage from his perspective. If the rumors about Jay Z’s chronic cheating ways are true, then there’s a chance that Jay Z’s “perspective” is that of a guy who is trying to sneak in the front door at 3am without waking up his wife. But the source doesn’t say exactly what the theme of his album will be about. For all we know, the “rough patch” in their marriage could be the week Beyonce tried baby bangs or the time Jay made the mistake of suggesting that his wife hire a Photoshop tutor.
I don’t know if Jay Z releasing a companion piece to Lemonade is a good thing or a bad thing. I do know that there were two things I took away from watching Lemonade: Beyonce fucking loves fire, and she maybe had to sniff Jay Z’s dick on more than one occasion. So I’m thinking his side of the story will be about how he’s sorry for doing whatever he did with Becky. If so, then I think the track list will probably look something like this:
1. I’ll Be Right Back (I’m Going Out)
2. Working Late
3. Oh Shit, I Forgot (To Rinse Off My Dick In The Hotel Sink)
4. Second Cell Phone? What Second Cell Phone
5. I Don’t Know Rachel Roy That Way
6. Rita Who?
7. That Could Be Anybody’s Hair
8. Those Could Be Anybody’s Panties (the That Could Be Anybody’s Hair remix)
9. Not The Face (ft. Solange)
10. I’m Sorry
11. I’ll Do Anything To Make It Up To You
12. Looks Like I’m Watching Cadillac Records And Repeating The Words “You Should Have Been Nominated For An Oscar For This”