Open Post: Hosted By Michael Bublé Eating Corn The Right Way

April 15, 2016 / Posted by:

Because this week is just full of highly important BREAKING NEWS stories, a picture of Michael Bublé working the tip of a corn on the cob at Disneyland has gone viral and has got people wondering if his Canadian ass knows how corn on the cob works. The answer is: Yes. Yes, he does. The tricks who are looking at that picture with question marks in their eyes are the ones who don’t know how corn on the cob works. Here’s the picture:

“I don’t see the problem.” – Marcus Bachmann and me.

That is definitely how a grown adult eats corn on the cob. Everyone knows that you’re supposed to slather that corn in butter and then deep throat that butter right off. Then you start on the tip and work your way down. Sure, when your mouth gets tired, you can give it to that corn harmonica-style for a little bit, but then you gotta go right back in. When nature gives you something that’s sort of shaped like a dick, you owe it to nature to eat it like a dick!

I mean, if the way you eat corn on the cob doesn’t make people want to take your picture and have some Photoshop fun with it, then you’re eating corn on the cob the wrong way. If the way you eat corn on the cob doesn’t make people think of the Camron lyric, “Lick, suck, deep throat, stop, cough, hop on, hop off, lollipop off, I know it’s white yellow, but here come the hot sauce,” then you’re eating corn on the cob the wrong way. And Michael Bublé is definitely eating it the right way!

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