Night Crumbs

July 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Brad Pitt is in London for Guy Ritchie’s wedding, which happened today, and that’s probably why he shaved off most of his billy goat beard and looks like he spent time in a shower. Brad almost had it all the way together, but then he just had to wear that hat he obviously stole from the head of a dead hobo – Lainey Gossip 

The New York courts rejected Kelly Rutherford’s custody case, so she’ll be hopping the White House fence and running on the lawn while screaming, “Ayudame, Obama,” in 3..2… – Celebitchy

The Hulk Hogan leaked sex tape is gross in several ways, but at least it has taught me that “carny” wrestling talk is an amazingly advanced code language. I mean, who would ever guess that “blizz-ack gizz-uys“ is carny for “black guys.” Not even Alan Turing himself could figure that out – The Superficial 

Giant hairy tit Donald Trump is disgusted by tit milk – WWTDD

Oh, don’t mind Lindsay Lohan, she’s just trying to pull out the necklace she hid up her culo while jewelry shopping earlier – Drunken Stepfather

Saying that Joanna Krupa’s pussy smells like an outdoor fish market during the month of August has cost Brandi Glanville $50,000 in legal fees so far – Reality Tea 

A Married with Children spin-off may happen, so says Bud BundyEgotastic

Jose Canseco is going to dress like a woman for a week, because he wants to honor Caitlyn Jenner, but mostly because he needs people to pay attention to him – Jezebel

Connecticut has a hot chef and this is what he looks like without a top on – Towleroad

Kourtney Kardashian is most likely knocked up with her next few Life & Style cover stories – IDLYITW

That mother of the bride dress ain’t it, but Winnie Cooper still looks good – Hollywood Tuna 

That eyeshadow ain’t it, but Salma Hayek’s magnificent chichis still look magnificent – Popoholic

Teresa Giudice needs to sue herself and her husband, because I’m pretty sure they’re the reasons why she’s in prison – Just Jared

AWWWWWWWWW… I actually felt something for a second – The Berry 

Jason Alexander would like everyone to know that he’s not the Jason Alexander who got busted for child porn – SOW

This is what Guy Ritchie’s English countryside wedding looked like – Popsugar

Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence hung out. I’m surprised the Internet didn’t implode from this information – HuffPo

Morrissey claims his carrot and potatoes got groped by the TSA at San Francisco International Airport and is letting everyone know that if you want to get your bits grabbed, that’s the place to go – Queerty

Pic: Splash

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