On Friday, AMERICAN CITIZEN Reese Witherspoon made an appearance at Walmart’s annual shareholders meeting in Fayetteville, AR, because a check truly is a check. NO! I’m sure she did it because there’s literally nothing more patriotic for an AMERICAN CITIZEN than getting invited to a Walmart shareholders meeting. I was hoping Reese was there to introduce a new line of Walmart garden mix called American Soil™, but she was actually there to teach a Walmart employee the Bend and Snap from Legally Blonde. Reese pulled the Bend and Snap out of retirement and she gave it a bit of a 5-minute facelift; instead of the Bend and Snap, she made it the Bend and Snap and Stock. So now Walmart employees can throw a casual lil’ flirt your way while they fill an endcap full of Pop-Tarts and diapers.
And Reese wasn’t the only celebrity at the Walmart shareholders meeting on Friday. According to UsWeekly, Carol Burnett, Rod Stewart, Brian McKnight, Drew Barrymore, and Mariah Carey were also there. That’s a lot of talent, but really – they could have saved themselves some rollback pennies by cutting everyone and replacing them with Walmart’s unofficial princess, Britney Spears. She could have been the warm-up, the host, the musical performance, the mid-meeting comedy act, AND she would have done it all for a 12-pack of Diet Dr. Thunder and the trampoline attached to the outside wall of the store.