The Baby Prince And Princess Of Monaco Showed Up All The Other Royal Babies By Wearing Dior To Their Christening
Somewhere in England, Baby Prince George has stopped beating his nanny in the head with one of his toys to “pfft” at this headline, because those white Dior baby dresses have nothing on his legendary heirloom christening gown that I’m sure Kanye West had duplicated in black leather for North West’s christening.
While looking like two tiny babies getting eaten up by two white duvet covers, Princess Gabriella Thérése Marie and the future king of Monaco Prince Jacques Honoré Rainier were christened at the Cathedral de Monaco today. I’m not sure which is which. I’m guessing Gabrielle is the royal baby on the right, because she still looks pissed about not being the heir to throne just because she wasn’t born with boy parts. That means that Jacques may be the baby on the left who looks like he’s farting into his douche daddy’s hands and is pleased about it.
People says that over 700 guests (not including Prince Albert’s other children Chopped and Liver Grimaldi) watched as the fancy royal twins were baptized. Apparently, Princess Charlene planned the opulent ass christening ceremony and worked with Baby Dior on her twins’ fancy white cotton and lace gowns. Since Princess Charlene planned the ceremony, I’m surprised she didn’t end the ceremony by getting into a canon with her babies and screaming, “Au revoir, bitches,” before being shot over the ocean all the way to her native South Africa, far, far away from her warden husband.
No, truthfully, Princess Charlene has been looking kind of happy lately. So either Prince Pierced Peen finally paid Scientology’s scientists to have Princess Charlene’s brain implanted with the same happy chip that was implanted into Katie Holmes’ brain or she’s always smiling because her husband finally did her right by keeping her cell stocked with the good shit.