Open Post: Hosted By Princess Charlene, Prince Albert And The Royal Twins Of Monaco

January 7, 2015 / Posted by:

Don’t cry for me Monaco-ooooooooh – Actually, please do, because I’m fucking miserable.

Princess Charlene and Prince Albert officially presented their 4-week-old twins, Jacques and Gabriella, on the balcony of the Royal Palace of Monaco and it was declared a national holiday to celebrate the presenting of the royal twins. Um, who do us Americans need to bitch and moan to about not getting a day off of work when our royal children, Blue Ivy Carter and Shauna Sand’s daughters, were born?

Princess Charlene also debuted the bangs they gave her to hide the incision in her forehead that surgeons made to implant the chip that will force her to smile when out in public. No, Princess Charlene actually looks kind of happy here. She usually has miserable resting face, but here she has kind-of-happy-and-really-tired resting face.

These pictures make me pretty nervous, though. Ever since that “Michael Jackson dangles Blanket over a balcony” disaster, babies near balconies make me uncomfortable. Any precious thing near a balcony makes me uncomfortable. That is why I have to practically Super Glue my iPhone to the inside of my pocket when I get near a balcony. If I dropped it over the edge, my life would over.


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