And here I was thinking that today was going to be slower than Kourtney Kardashian’s thought process because it’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I thought wrong. The news story of the month, if not year, popped up on my feed this afternoon. I’m sure Anderson Cooper and all the other serious journalists are on a plane to Wales to cover this important event in religion.
The other day, Jesus probably wondered where he should show up next. His disciples suggested a banana, to which he said, “So 2009!” Another suggested a dog’s ass. God’s son has already been there, butt it gave him an idea. Why not show up on a dog’s wet ear while it’s getting washed since most dogs think to themselves, “Jesus help me,” as they’re getting bathed. So he did just that. Rachel Evans of Swansea in south Wales tells Metro UK that she was giving her Yorkie, Dave, a bath when she noticed a holy figure in his ear. She stared at it a while before she ran to get her boyfriend.
“About an hour later I showed my partner and he said ‘can you see that face?’ We looked a bit closer and realised it looked like Jesus. It’s a bit strange.”
If you ever want the public to know that you’ve done a whole lot of acid and it’s fucked with your brain and all your senses, tell the media that you saw the face of Jesus in your dog’s ear while bathing him. No, I’m just joking. This is obviously the face of HAYSOOS!
Seriously, though, Rachel named her Yorkie Dave so she can’t be that crazy, but I have to disagree with her on this. That so isn’t the face of Jesus. That’s obviously Michael Jackson with a Bieber wig on. Anybody can see that.