Julia Roberts Wants Everyone To Know That She’s Never Had A Facelift, ThankYouVeryMuch

While all of our brains shit out a question mark as we look at Renee Zellweger’s chopped, screwed and pulled face, Julia Roberts is letting you know that she’s never had her mug pulled and she might be making a bad career move by not getting a facelift. To which I say:

During an interview with You Magazine (via UsWeekly) about Lancome, Julia said that as a 47-year-old Hollywood actress, she should probably get her face cut off and pulled up to the top of her skull, but she’d rather age the way a normal person is supposed to age. Nicole Kidman and Meg Ryan would throw that bitch a “cállate la boca, trick” side-eye, but they can’t, because their side-eye-throwing muscles were Botoxed to death.

“By Hollywood standards, I guess I’ve already taken a big risk in not having had a face-lift. I’ve told Lancome that I want to be an aging model. They have to keep me for at least five more years until I’m over 50.”

Julia went on to say that she studies yoga “on a more conscious level” (I didn’t know GOOPY possessed Julia’s body), which helps keeps stress marks from growing on her face.

“It’s about non-grasping, non-hoarding, cleaning out your closet, dusting out your mind and letting go of the things that weigh you down mentally and emotionally. There’s a lightness to my life now – an airy quality of not taking things too seriously. That’s happiness.”

So the key to Julia’s youthful glow is a heaping dash of self-righteousness, Photoshop, Botox (that forehead vein don’t lie), Photoshop, the happiness she feels when she wears that vintage A Low Vera t-shirt while cackling at the woman whose husband she had an affair with, Photoshop and more Photoshop. Did I already say Photoshop?

And here’s all-natural Julia dressed like a Cache district manager at the 10th Annual GLSEN Respect Awards in Beverly Hills on October 17th.

Pics: Wenn.com