First Chavril, then Mama June and Shuggy, then Pimp Mama Kris and Bruce Jenner, and NOW Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa? Amber was just twerking in Wiz’s honor. That’s the seal of true love. How can it be over?! If you’re married, you better start hiding joint money in off-shore accounts before trolling for rebound dick, because everyone’s breaking up. The Grim Reaper is snatching up everyone’s marriage.
At the MTV Video Train Wreck Awards last month, Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa were the definition of understated elegance and pure love when they showed up looking like a two pence medieval hooker and an Emo scarecrow found in the clearance section of a Hot Topic the day after Halloween. But behind that facade of true love, their 1-year-old marriage was drowning in dirty bong water. TMZ says that Amber Rose filed papers to legally quit Wiz Khalifa after only 1 year of being married to him. Amber claims that they barely broke up on Monday, so shit went down and I’m bracing myself for all the side tricks who will crawl out from under the dumpster to sell their stories to Life & Style.
Amber is asking for full physical and legal custody of their 1-year-old son Sebastian and is happy to let Wiz visit him. Amber doesn’t have to ask for spousal support, because she says that the prenup she and Wiz signed guarantees her a monthly check.
Sources tell TMZ that their split is bitter. There’s been rumors that Amber’s wandering chocha has wandered over to Nick Cannon’s rogue dick. Nick’s production company recently signed Amber to a TV and book deal and some say that they’re more than just business partners. If that’s true, then Mimi should get REVENGE by fucking Wiz Khalifa. Wiz Khalifa looks like a skinny ass Sanrio character, so boning him shouldn’t be a problem for Mimi.
And really, we should’ve seen this coming as soon as Amber Rose showed off the giant, horrific kiss of inked death she tattooed into the back of her arm:
I hope Nick Cannon (or whoever her next piece is) gets off on having a stoned Wiz Khalifa stare at him as he hits Amber Rose from the back. Some kinky motherfucker would.
Here’s Amber Rose buying stuff in Beverly Hills yesterday.