It’s a Christmas (in August) miracle! Back in June, Anna Kendrick cried to Elle Magazine that no one had hit on her in five years, which made no goddamn sense, because Anna Kendrick is an adorably chipper human-looking field mouse, and you’d think she’d have all sorts of suitors lined up at the door to her grass burrow. But for some reason, her milkshakes were bringing 0.00 boys to the meadow.
However, according to the New York Post (via Hollywood.com) Anna has finally found someone to hit on her, and it’s Lily Allen’s brother and Game of Thrones actor Alfie Allen. A source claims that Anna and Alfie went on a date last week in Las Vegas at a place called SushiSamba, adding that they had requested a dark table and were spotted enjoying drinks. Ew, get a room you two! The source also added (no they didn’t) that witnesses caught their eyes canoodling while eating spicy tuna rolls and Anna giggled as she playfully poked Alfie with one of her chopsticks. Then they put on a pair of roller skates, told SushiSamba to kill the lights, and skated around the restaurant to “I’m Not In Love” till they were asked to leave.
Well, good for Anna. I’m glad to hear she’s no longer at home wrist-deep in a pint of Karamel Sutra and looking up dudes from middle school on Facebook (Stars! Just like the rest of us!). And obviously, if they’re together long enough to get a “Brangelina” nickname, Anna Kendrick and Alfie Allen should either go with “Anal” or “Alfdrick”. Someone please grab the brain bleach, because, yes, I just pictured ALF’s dick.