Would You Hit It?

July 15, 2014 / Posted by:

Every single one of Jenny Lewis’ video should be nothing but her doing the Cookie Time dance with the cast of the greatest thing she’s ever been a part of: Troop Beverly Hills. But for some strange reason that I will never understand, Jenny Lewis doesn’t agree with me. So for the video for the song which will put your brain in sleep mode if you listen to it for more than 15 seconds, she got Anne Hathaway, Brie Larson and Kristen Stewart to drag king it up. Well, Anne and Brie drag king’d it up. KStew just wore a Bieber wig and a Dirty Sanchez stache with her regular clothes.

Above is Anne looking like Ali G’s American third cousin from New Jersey who thinks that KFed’s album “Playing With Fire” is an underrated rap treasure, constantly brags about how he gets his brows threaded at the same place Pauly D does, actually pre-ordered Backdoor Farrah’s rubber asshole and calls his garage bedroom in his mother’s house his “pussy palace” even though he’s only done sex with a Fleshlight. It hurts every vein in my body to say that yes, yes, I’d hit it. I actually got the puckers from seeing everyone’s least favorite theater kid Anne Hathaway as a KFed version of Buck from United States of Tara. Somebody grab a flashlight, a rosary and a vat of holy water and inspect me down there, because obviously something’s not right since I got the tingles for Anne Hathaway in a rattail and stache. Being easy isn’t easy.

Who ever directed Jenny Lewis’ Lisa Frank twat burp of a video must be a wizard who is capable of anything. Because they actually managed to bring emotion and a smile out of human drool stain Kristen Stewart (who kind of looks like a strung out young Edward Furlong as the Biebs):

wouldyouhititkristenstewartinbieber

Eh, actually the director’s not much of a magician, because it’s not surprising that KStew would become animated after you slap a pubestach on her face and tell her to act like a dude. And yes, yes, I would. I need help.

While I’m getting a priest to exorcise the Anne-And-KStew-In-Drag-Loving Demon out of my b-hole, you can watch the video for “Just One of the Guys” which is like Leslie Hall on Valium and Unisom.

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