The kiss cam is so weird, right? People are being forced to engage in intimacy for your pleasure, like you’re some kind of G-rated Caligula. Everyone is happily eating their $18 nachos and watching someone you think is Dwayne Wade (it’s always Dwayne Wade to me, even in baseball and hockey) run down the court, and then they throw up the kiss cam and something in your brain gets obsessed and goes: “WE MUST OFFER A SACRIFICE TO DARK LORD KISS CAM. TWO PEOPLE MUST TOUCH LIPS TO CHER’S COVER OF THE SHOOP SHOOP SONG.”
Last night, the kiss cam claimed another set of victims when it set it’s pervy sights on Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis, who were sitting court side at the Staples Center for the Lakers vs. Utah Jazz game (Laker won. Sorry Mormons). And they actually kissed! The only thing worse than non-consensual kiss cam participation is not actually kissing, because those boooos last all game. One time I was at a Dodgers game and this couple got on the kiss cam and didn’t kiss. Everyone booed their party-pooper asses until the camera switched to an elderly couple (who gave us some raunchy tongue) but the damage was done; nobody fucks with the kiss cam! Ashton’s PR guy must have prepped him for this ahead of time: “You really butchered the shit out of JOBS and people think you’re kind of an asshole, so if they show you and Mila on the kiss cam, for chrissakes, kiss the hell out of her. You need this”.
Also at the game was Kaley Glencoco and her future ex-husband Ryan Sweeting who, despite a really tight LOOK AT ME game, didn’t get on the kiss cam. A for effort Kaley, but you sort of cashed in all you attention-chips with that wedding dress.
(Pics via Splash)