The Squints Are Making A Reality Show That’s Not Really A Reality Show

May 31, 2013 / Posted by:

But what reality show really is a reality show? That is the question.

Because the Mississippi born Falkor is getting bored with barfing at the fingertips on Twitter about how perfect her marriage to Eddie Cibrian is, she’s decided to start flaunting their vomit-inducing love on a TV show that’s about as fake as their union. LeAnn explained the show to People and it sounds like the perfect thing to watch if you’re suffering from the hard shits and really want to come down with a serious case of the diarrheas.

“We’re doing a TV show based on our reality. We’ll take things out of our lives and elaborate them and make them funny. People have been laughing at us – we want them to laugh with us!”

We’re always gonna laugh AT them, but nice try. No, I’m sure it’ll be hilarious. It’ll be really hilarious when LeAnn walks in on Eddie boning some side trick on the kitchen island and realizes that wasn’t in the script and he’s actually boning some side trick on the kitchen island. LeAnn will be like, “Waitaminute, I don’t see no cock sock.” Cue laugh track!

LeAnn went on to spit out more streams of delusion:

“For some reason, everyone is so interested in our lives but they don’t actually know about them. What they read is what they see. We want to be able to take control of our lives again so we want to do show about us, about our lives, but scripted.”

I know we always say that reality shows (or fake reality shows or whatever) kill marriages, but that’s not going to happen to LeAnn and Eddie. The only thing that will kill their marriage is Eddie’s Black AMEX getting denied. To love and to cherish, ’till a zero bank balance does them part.

LeAnn says that their show doesn’t have a name or even a network yet. I helped LeAnn out a bit. I called WCC (the Who Cares Channel) and NGAFN (Nobody Gives A Fuck Network) and they both said they’re passing.

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