The Fat Batman Of Bradford Lied To Us All
We can no longer safely walk the streets at night while thinking that a crime-stopping Fat Batman is watching over all of us, because a Fat Batman is not watching over all of us. He doesn't exist! The world is without a Fat Batman.
Yesterday, a Fat Batman became a hero to us all when the police in West Yorkshire released footage from a security camera of him dragging a wanted criminal into the police station. The police released the stills, because they wanted to the thank the caped crusader for making Bradford a little safer. But the Fat Batman isn't a hero and he isn't even fat! 39-year-old Chinese takeaway delivery man Stan Worby pulled off the Batman mask and revealed that he's the dude behind Fat Batman and he's no crime stopper. Stan tells The Daily Telegraph that his friend of 15 years, 27-year-old Danny Frayne, needed a ride to the police station. Danny was wanted for fraud and for handling stolen goods, and so he wanted to turn himself in. Stan wore the Batman costume to a football match in London (because why not?) earlier in the night and thought it would be funny to wear it to the police station.
"Obviously it was done as a joke. He (Frayne) wanted to get straight down. Obviously I wanted my bed. It was half-one in the morning. At the end of the day it was a practical joke, just between me and Daniel."
Stan says that the worst part of all of this is that everyone is calling him Fat Batman when he's not even fat. Stan was wearing a track suit underneath his Batman costume, because it was cold outside. (Somewhere Kirstie Alley is memorizing the line, "I'm not fat, I'm just wearing a tracksuit under my clothes!")
Mr Worby protested that he only looked overweight in CCTV images of the incident because he was wearing a tracksuit under the outfit to keep out the cold.
Explaining the apparent paunch seen on the footage of the episode, he said: "I've got my full tracksuit underneath. I'm not just wearing this - it's too thin."
The lies! I don't know what hurts more: the fact that there isn't a Fat Batman or the fact that the glorious mound of chunk hanging over his crotch is really just a scrunched-up tracksuit.
• 
English.
His friend wanted to go straight down to the police station to hand himself in, but he wanted to go to bed because it was half past one in the morning.
How is that confusing? :s
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Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 1:19pm.
"Obviously it was done as a joke. He (Frayne) wanted to get straight down. Obviously I wanted my bed. It was half-one in the morning."
what language is this???
Saltydog, Side-eye is right.
On Batman being a fake: Devastate, shockered, disappoint. (Why wear the costume in the first place? Boring, whatevs...)
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So they became friends when he was 24 and Daniel was 12? MAJOR SIDE EYE for that one.
Also isn't take-away delivery driver an oxymoron? it is either delivery or take-away/take-out
"Obviously it was done as a joke. He (Frayne) wanted to get straight down. Obviously I wanted my bed. It was half-one in the morning."
what language is this???
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"I ain't a killer but don't push me, Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy" ~ Tupac Amaru Shakur
Why is this bitch running around in the woods?
Dunnadunnadunnadunnadunnadunnadunna FAT BATMAN dunnadunnadunnadunna FAT BATMAN, FAT BATMAN, FAT BATMAN dunnadunnadunnadunna dunt. FAT BATMAN!!!
**************dunna
Cool "Disco" Dan!!!
A fake Batman with a fraudulent fupa. What is this world coming to. Millions are crying.
What the hell are supposed to believe in now?
Go Verb Yourself!
Submitted by Madly on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 12:22pm.
*takes off mask*
It's Phil Collins!
ahahaha!! I was thinking the same thing. or Steve McDonald from Corrie Street. (same hair island thingy going on)
He does looks very comfy having his tea on the couch like that.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Even though it was half-past one in the morning, I trust the constabulary poured them some strong tea before bringing up the unpleasant business about fraud?
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Polica, Dark Star
*takes off mask*
It's Phil Collins!
1. I thought the guy was going to be Asian and that he just delivered take out, not that he delivered Chinese takeout. 2. It's fucked up that he is more embarrassed about people thinking he is fat, not that he is wanted for questioning.
Man, the English sure do love their ugly living rooms don't they? Always some crazy-ass, fug wallpaper and an oooogly couch.
@Texndoc - I was thinking the same thing. Safe to say he lives with his mom?
CUPPA TEA, GUVNAH?!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
I used to have a bit of a bit of a crush on Adam West but only when he was Bruce Wayne. When he put on the Batsuit I thought he looked a bit fat. Speaking of Fat Batman.
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Help me!
Submitted by The Fly: "This is like some Catfish shit. He should've kept the lie going, so we would have something to believe in in this messed up world. Thanks, cunt."
LOL.
This whole story is hilarious. Those dudes must be bored as hell.
"I don't care if the world thinks I'm batshit insane or a moron, but DON'T call me fat."
DAMN IT. There is nothing left to believe in.
That's a big home with nice scenery for a fast food driver.
fuck this gay earth
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
This is like some Catfish shit. He should've kept the lie going, so we would have something to believe in in this messed up world. Thanks, cunt.
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Help me!