Good Luck With That, Michael Lohan
With a TMZ cameraman and a reporter from Radar at his side, Michael Lohan tried and failed to get Lindsay Lohan into rehab on Friday. One of TMZ's sources (fun fact: "One of TMZ's sources" is Latin for Michael Lohan) says that LiLo's entire team including her manager and lawyers want her to dry up in rehab, because she's eating Adderall faster than a Kardashian's pussy eats black dick and she's drinking a bottle and a half of vodka every day ("What's wrong with that?" says you as you open a second bottle of Popov at 8:30 in the morning). I know, a bottle and A HALF? What kind of self-respecting alcoholic doesn't finish all of the second bottle? For shame.
Michael has e-mails proving that LiLo's manager, entertainment lawyer and criminal defense lawyer Shawn Holley were all in on the intervention that didn't happen. But since that intervention didn't happen, Michael is moving on to Plan B. I wish what I meant by that was that Michael Lohan plans to shove a bunch of Plan B pills up into his peen hole so he can never procreate again since he has no business being anybody's father, but that's not what I mean. Michael tells TMZ that he's going to go to the court this week and ask for them to force LiLo into a conservatorship. Even Michael Lohan knows that a dog's dried dingle would make a better conservator than him, so he's asking the judge to make somebody else her conservator. Anybody but LiLo's mom/wallet leech White Oprah.
Michael is also making plans to get LiLo into rehab and away from all the bad influences around her. Michael also hopes that if a judge orders that LiLo needs a life controller, he hopes that life controller will talk White Oprah into going to family therapy.
Michael Lohan's brain actually farted up a good idea, but the court should take this all the way. The court should put the ENTIRE Lohan family under a conservatorship. It should be illegal for every member of the Lohan family to make decisions for themselves. Michael Lohan needs a conservator to tell him to stop getting a check by using his daughter's name and to make his own money by getting a real job as a day salesman at a mid-range car dealership since he already has the outfit for it (see picture above). White Oprah needs a conservator to force her to get a sanity cell implanted in her brain since hers was eaten away by low-grade coke a long time ago. And Ali Lohan needs a conservator to hire Liam Neeson to save her from the Korean sex ring her mom forced her into.
And here's LiLo looking like Julie Cooper's mom at a press conference for Liz & Dick.
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tolerancecompassionlove that stupid fucker is a fame whore. it's a shame that he has to take down the whole family with him. looser party of one.
tolerancecompassionlove
wow that is a fucked up family.
Nothing her parents do is genuine or for Lindsay's own good. They are both demented, self-serving bottom-feeders and Lindsay never had a chance with those two losers as parents. Dina enables Lindsay for her (Dina's) own gain and her dad sells her out at absolutely every opportunity.
It ain't over 'til the black kid did it.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I'd believe it but for the fact that he's taking a cameraman from TMZ and a reporter from Radar, unnecessarily making this "rescue mission" a photo-op!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Karl J. Anglin
Amy Winehouse did not want
rehab either.
Oh well!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 3:54pm.
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 1:32pm.
Of the two parents, Michael is probably the one concerned most with Lindsay's well-being. He also seems to be sober, while WO is a pathological liar and an addict herself.
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I would tend to agree. She called DADDY, after all, when she was all wigged out in that limo. Plus, Dina seems financially dependent on Linds, and probably her siblings also to a degree.
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Michael only shows concern when the cameras are
rolling. This is s perferct example. He stages an "intervention" with TMZ and Radar in tow. What an ass.
He's also financially dependent on Lindsay, since the ONLY way he makes any money is by selling tips and information to the tabloids.
Lifetime couldn't have hoped for better and cost-free promotion for the upcoming laugh-fest. In their eyes, each daily stunt= more potential viewers= ratings points= $$$ in their coffers. Pretty ingenious hiring trouble and using said trouble for success.
You're right IF and GG. My apologies to the 27 club. She will never be eligible or worthy. MY BAD :-)
__________________=_=___________________
"Uhh....I'm here for the gang bang??"
LL better wait till she's 28 to die. She doesn't deserve to be in the 27 club - that club has real talent and her family will start comparing her to Janis and shit. UGH!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
I thought the 27 Club was for talented people that left this earth too early, not for washed up, fucked-up-in-the-head, druggie losers.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Lilho has 1 more year until she joins the 27 club. Good luck.
__________________=_=___________________
"Uhh....I'm here for the gang bang??"
I enjoy watching a good train wreck. Liho derailed so long ago, it's not even interesting anymore. I think I'll just save some brain cells and skip her media posts from now on. So boring.
Submitted by Mani6 on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 6:00pm.
I think Ali is back from her call girl duties in Korea.
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Mani, I wonder if she's already wanting to turn around and get back on a plane to the other side of the planet after 5 minutes with her mother, father, or Lindsay.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I think Ali is back from her call girl duties in Korea.
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Oh MK did you see the interview with the Rajun Cajun "boyfriend"? I just read it and it's full of goodness. He caught my attention basically because I used to love that town he's from when I was rotated there in school.
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/josh-chunn-best-influenc...
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 1:45pm.
yeah they're really shilling this thing aren't they?
She better get ready for the shit storm of bad reviews and ridicule..
None of it will faze her. She's living in some pill-induced fairyland in which impersonating Elizabeth Taylor in a crap Lifetime movie (which no one will watch except for the train-wrecky aspects) will earn her an Oscar. That no one gives out Oscars for TV movies (or soft core porn) is immaterial to her - she's going to get one to put beside her [stolen]Chanel, [stolen]Hermes, and [stolen]diamonds.
Aw, Lindsay thinks she's going to get her Oscar for this movie.
And why does her hair look greasy?
Submitted by Dirk Diggler on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 1:32pm.
Of the two parents, Michael is probably the one concerned most with Lindsay's well-being. He also seems to be sober, while WO is a pathological liar and an addict herself.
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I would tend to agree. She called DADDY, after all, when she was all wigged out in that limo. Plus, Dina seems financially dependent on Linds, and probably her siblings also to a degree.
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
Visit The Freckle on Lindsay Lohan's Lip on Facebook.
lemme get to the point: she looks like shit on a shingle.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Meh. So what are the options here?
1. She sobers up and accepts that she's never going to be a mega star again. Uses the rest of her available funds to buy a modest home. Goes to university. Looks for a job. Starts going to the gym everyday. Maybe after a few years of sobriety, sprouts and sweat, gets modest but serious roles.
2. Stays on the current path. Trying to hide her partying ways with plastic surgery every now and then. Stealing. Going bankrupt. Continually laughed at until everyone gets bored and stops paying attention. She won't OD. She'll just fade away.
I've been sick of this bitch for yonks. She looks like an old lady. Her boobs are so huge, it makes her look old. She's trying to pull off some sort of Jessica Rabbit look here, but looks like a wigged version of her mom-especially in pic three and four. She doesn't have the dignity, grace, or maturity to pull of the hard work of option number one.
I think everyone is hoping that she will just die (all her "helpers") so they can finally sleep at night..and not need anti-anxiety meds for the next inevitable fuck up...some people really just need to leave life cause they cause too much drama and pain and it never ends. Sorry, not wishing death, just sayin'....her life is not pretty or interesting or even relevant except to TMZ.
Wow. I just looked at an ad or something. It appears to be a game in which a woman with her breasts hanging out of her top with nips showing is wearing boxing gloves, and the point is to punch her with your own boxing gloves. The ads on this site are surreal.
On topic: The Lohans are trash, but I don't wish them death. I wish they would get better. However, that probably won't happen. They are people others love to hate.
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:32pm.
Submitted by guest on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:15pm.
What color is her hair? Raggedy Ann red?
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LOL! Maybe her next gig will be spokeswhore for Wendy's.
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Hey, don't get Wendy's involved in this. They did nothing wrong.
Go Verb Yourself!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:32pm.
yeah me too. so I'm sitting on the bus early this morning and the guy sitting in front of me is reading the paper and I see a pic of Hohan and was hoping today's the day she finally did herself in, but sadly, no. So I read the headline about her calling the cops for the gazillionth time for their cracked out nonsense. In future, the po po should not answer any of their calls. no matter what.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:32pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:23pm.
So, if MLo is truth telling, everyone, including Blohan's lawyer, believes she's relapsed (laughing) and needs help, yet NO ONE is doing a single thing.
Alrighty then.
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It's a lost cause really. I'm sure all the news sites already have an obit ready to fire off at the drop of a hat. tick tock tick tock..
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For me - This bitch cannot OD fast enough.
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All of this. I thought it was just me being particularly bitchy on a Monday or something because normally I chuckle at the shitshow called the Lohans, but I think I've seriously had enough. You know all of the tabloids have this bitch's obituary ready to go...and while it's awful to say, I'm so ready for it to happen. This whole family is like the ebola virus.
The ONLY thing that will suck WHEN (not IF) that happens will be the entire family carrying on about how 'tragic' it is that she went so young...not to mention who will be screaming the blame game. That will be just EXHAUSTING.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
Submitted by Deb on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 1:47pm.
I couldn't open it. Big bold red "we are experiencing techno difficulties" I'll try later.
Submitted by guest on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:15pm.
What color is her hair? Raggedy Ann red?
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LOL! Maybe her next gig will be spokeswhore for Wendy's.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:23pm.
So, if MLo is truth telling, everyone, including Blohan's lawyer, believes she's relapsed (laughing) and needs help, yet NO ONE is doing a single thing.
Alrighty then.
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It's a lost cause really. I'm sure all the news sites already have an obit ready to fire off at the drop of a hat. tick tock tick tock..
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For me - This bitch cannot OD fast enough.
Submitted by can be a pushy broad on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 1:40pm.
There's a difference between Britney and Lindsey and conservatorship. IMO, Britney's Dad really does have her best interest in mind. I know many will disagree. ........
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Totally agree. Brit's mom is the Dina and Michael of the Spears family. She worked her ass off putting Brit in every damn thing she could. She even went so far as calling into interviews in "Brit voice" when Brit wasn't able to or couldn't. Jamie-Lynn was her next victim. Maybe JL's baby was her way out of the Lynn circus. Bet Lynn is trying to find ways to get Brit's boys into the industry!
The Lohans.... Can't say anything that hasn't already been said. MESSES, all of 'em.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/22/2012 - 2:23pm.
So, if MLo is truth telling, everyone, including Blohan's lawyer, believes she's relapsed (laughing) and needs help, yet NO ONE is doing a single thing.
Alrighty then.
-----------------------------------------------
It's a lost cause really. I'm sure all the news sites already have an obit ready to fire off at the drop of a hat. tick tock tick tock..
when I first saw these pics, I thought it was ali fcking with her face again.
you know, I always thought like the gobernment was watching me through my camera on my lappy..
"says you as you open a second bottle of Popov at 8:30 in the morning"
Now I know.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
So, if MLo is truth telling, everyone, including Blohan's lawyer, believes she's relapsed (laughing) and needs help, yet NO ONE is doing a single thing.
Alrighty then.
What color is her hair? Raggedy Ann red?
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
Glad to read he's not volunteering for the job!!
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"I think my butt looks too big in these jeans."
He's a manipulative douche famewhore, but sadly he's also the best option in Blohan's family.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Michael does give a shit which is why he's selling out his daughter. He's doing it to make money, not to help her. If he really wanted to be a good example, he'd get a a real job and stop getting arrested for hitting and threatening his girlfriend.
He's every bit the enabler. The reason he rats them out is to make money, NOt to help them, but rather to help himself. What does he do for a living besides sell her out to the media? Exactly, nothing.
In all fairness, MiLo isn't asking to be the conservator. He wants someone else to be. Fair enough.
Although it's never gonna happen.
I believe he has the emails, but a Judge would give me a conservatorship over Lilo before him.
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(Only time will tell) You're on your own, inside your room
(Only time will tell)You're claiming victory
You were just using me, and there is no one you can use now
Hahahahaha! Julie Cooper's mom!!!!!!! So spot on. I love you MK.
@can be a pushy broad
Check out this article.
http://www.tmz.com/2012/10/21/lindsay-lohan-siblings-ali-cody-michael-lo...
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
If Michael Lohan was a normal dad and we knew nothing negative about him, I think we would at least say it is good if him to try to appoint someone as conservator over Lindsay. Her mother is absolutely worse than he is. She's an addict who wants her cash cow to stay an addict with her. She has poisoned all 4 of the kids against Michael when she is JUST AS BAD herself. Proof was that Dr Phil show and the recording of Lindsay and her mom drunk as skunks fighting a few weeks ago. Michael just doesn't give a shit anymore. He's putting all Dina's and Lindsay's lies out there for public consumption Because you are only as sick as your secrets. And if he didn't rat them out they would continue to lie and deny all of it. They have an excuse for everything. Yes Michael is a douche. He gets on my nerves but he is also exposing them for what they are. If they weren't all fucked up there would be nothing to run to TMZ with. His only other option is say nothing, abd surely he can't possibly be making enough money off Lindsay to support himself. He's a creep but at this minute in time he seems sober so I'm reluctantly on team Michael.
and just like brit before her, linds' hair extensions are fucking awful.
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watching hardcore ufos
yeah they're really shilling this thing aren't they?
She better get ready for the shit storm of bad reviews and ridicule..
There's a difference between Britney and Lindsey and conservatorship. IMO, Britney's Dad really does have her best interest in mind. I know many will disagree. Lindsey, on the other hand, has
2 whacked out parents. Of the 2, Micheal probably does want to "help" more but shit, he's a mess as well. I'm wondering if there's any grandparents?
Man, this is one Fuxked up family. and where are the younger kids. Ali is in Korean (supposedly) but weren't there like 4-5 of them. Geez.
I love vintage, but it's not cool to wear something you wore to work 30 years ago. Michael, just like your ability to parent, your stock trading jacket days are over.