Sally Struthers Busted For DUI

That isn’t Sally Struther’s mug shot (this is), but let’s pretend that it is. I think I can say that I’ve typed it all after typing the headline: Sally Struthers Busted for DUI!

To me, Sally Struthers seems like the kind of party girl who goes to a crowded bar by herself, guzzles down Singapore Sling after Singapore Sling and dances like the wild wild woman she is to Paradise By The Dashboard Light before passing out after last call in a dark booth in the back. Miss Sally might’ve done some of that last night, but instead of passing out in a dark booth, she got in her car and drove.

TMZ says that at around 12:30am in Maine, Sally was caught by police driving under the influence of the sweet nectar and was arrested. Sally was later released after she posted $160 bail, and she could get a $500 fine and her drivers license suspended for 90 days if she gets convicted of DUI. Gloria from All in the Family is in Maine to sing and dance in 9 to 5 the musical at the Ogunquit Playhouse.

Feeding the children sure does make a bitch thirsty, but Sally is 65 and old enough to know that passing out in a dark booth in the bar of a bar instead of driving is the way to go. They should update Sally’s commercial and have her say, “For just 10 cents and a drink ticket a day, you can keep me drunk!” I’d probably donate.