To follow up their successful campaign to send Pitbull’s ass to a Walmart in Alaska, 4Chan is now trying to send make Taylor Swift perform at a school for the deaf. I don’t know if this is a potent act of bitchery or an act of bitchery mixed in with a little sweetness. Or mixed in with a lot of cruelness since many deaf children can hear and they’ll be forced to listen to Taylor’s goat yodeling.
In a contest co-sponsored by Papa John’s and Chegg, any school that gets the most votes on Facebook will win a visit and performance from Taylor Swift. The top 5 schools will also win a $10,000 grant for their music department. A quick second after 4Chan found out about the contest, The Horace Mann School for The Deaf and Hard of Hearing in Massachusetts became the clear leader and right now it has over 25,000 votes.
The rules state that Taylor doesn’t have to perform at the winning school if she doesn’t want to, but her heart is made of crushed strawberry lollipops and Lisa Frank stickers so there’s no way she’ll turn down a school for the deaf. You know what’s going to happen, though? Taylor’s going to show up with her guitar and then she’ll put it down before doing the entire performance in sign language. It’ll be a win for the kids, because they’ll get to see Taylor Swift’s ass and their hearing aids won’t explode from her live singing voice.
But seriously, if you’re the parent of a curly-haired tall boy who goes to Horace Mann, lock down your son right now, because that boytrap Taylor might be coming to town.