The Texas T-Rex Got Hitched!
If you were in Austin, TX last night and wondered why you heard the sound of a wild stoner T-Rex howling at the night while running through the woods, pounding at his bare chest, you now know why. It was just Matthew McConaughey letting out a celebratory wail after becoming Camila Alves' husband. Yes, that's a picture of Camila with Matthew McConaughey and not a picture of Camila with the broken condom baby of a female Skeletor and a Ken doll.
The Texas T-Rex's spokeswhore tells People, who bought the EXCLUSIVO rights for publishing pictures of this shit, that he married the mother of his two kids and his piece of 6 years at their mansion in Austin, Texas last night. Camila took her man's last name, so now she'll be known as Camila McConaughey. If I was Camila, I'd also legally give myself a middle name that begins with a U, so my initials could be CUM. Now those are some initials worth monogramming on your bathroom hand towels.
A source tells UsWeekly that after the reception, a handful of guests including Woody Harrleson got the option to stay in a temporary McConaughey commune of over a dozen fancy ass tents that had showers and air conditioning. Hos who decided to camp out in Matthew's backyard didn't have to worry about bears, but they did have to worry about him trying to steal their weed stash in the middle of the night. Poor bitches had to hang their weed bags up in the trees. Well, at least they only had to hang their stash on the lowest hanging branch since Matthew's tiny T-Rex arms can't even reach that high.
All the details you don't care about like what Camila wore on her body and if Matthew played his own wedding march on his bongo drums are in the next issue of People. The only thing I care about is how Camila wore her hair, because above everything, hair IS important.
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It is about time they got hicthed, Congratulations and God Bless em.
He is so not hot!
He annoys the heck out of me. His voice is like fingernails on a blackboard. Just a personal opinion, nothing more.
But how did he pound his chest with those teeny tiny arms of his? They're just like useless little decorative stubs!
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
I don't think he's hot at attractive at all.
He looks like a violent psychopath.
That photo! His FACE!!....HER face!! LOL!!!
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"Physical violence is the least of my priorities." - Drunken Albertan
Ugh can`t stand him. He thinks he`s God`s gift to women and isn`t shy about reminding everybody of that. I read an interview a couple of years ago (sorry, forget the publication) where he was telling the interviewer that he knew he was gorgeous ("well-made" was how he put it) and then he spent considerable time on that subject, telling her how there was nothing wrong in acknowledging your own beautiful self. Please. There is nothing wrong with being confident and self-assured but only a self-centred boor has to continually remind everyone how fantastic they are.
Then there`s that tv commercial for Dolce & Gabbana. Blergghhh!
Rant over.
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That looks like a fun ass party. Tents in the backyard says "yep, we have so much weed and booze you're not gonna be able to drive home at the end of the night." I don't like camping but I'd make an exception for this soiree.
*smokes a joint with an elegantly raised pinky*
Eyelid surgery and full face lift would be my guess with overdone laser resurfacing and probably fillers and botox too - and of course the hair transplant which I think looks fine - too bad about the rest. I wonder if he regrets it.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
Oh I hate this bitch! She can't speak a lick of English so why oh why give her a hosting gig?????
Watching Shear Genius was always so painful, as she twied too enUNceeeate ewery sinble vowel. Oh my God. Horrible. Nails on chalkboard irritating.
You KNOW she got that gig because she's Matthew's fuckpiece. No other reason why she'd be talking on tv. God.
Bwahaha. She always looks like a man, baby; that's why TRex married her.
If he didn't parade around like a rooster in a hen house, I'd think who cares, good for them! Actually, yes, congrats and all that, but he has become a bit too *pervy vulture* these days even on the Magic Mike set... ick... nast... Lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I still would AND I'd hold my nose!
Since we don't have an open post today and my observation has a slight reference to the Texas T-Rex's latest movie, here goes:
I just saw a trailer for Magic Mike, and like a few fellow Dlisters, the only guy I considered attractive -- and the least gay -- was Matt Bomer. Can't believe his name is listed below Alex fucking Pettyfur!
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"Being a fucking idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you're rewarded significantly." ~~ Jon Hamm
OMG, I can't with that picture - he looks like a creep. UGH.
Did he get lipo in his temples?
For some reason I like them and I am not annoyed if he moves back to Austin. I rather them then than the tons of hipsters that swear E. 6th is the shit.
What's up with putting your guests in tents? Was it a camping theme wedding? Were there termites in the house? I just don't get that part.
Crazyinjapan.....that's exactly what I thought!
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...the end
Shame what he did to his face. not an improvement.
He used to look just like a young Paul Newman.
Now. not so much.
This idiot lives in a mansion. Life you are so unfair.
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What is her problem? She's just laying there...
He looks like he should be checking my oil
He's lucky to get someone that beautiful.
Odds are she was born when the rest of us gave him the L-I-V-I-N benefit of the D-O-U-B-T
She looks like that gorilla-ish Housewife.
Good for them. Saturday was my 'rents 61st wedding anniversary, so top that, Matty. No hate here. He's a goofball.
She is absolutely gorgeous. He fucked up his face with the plastic surgery.
Their son looks just like Salma Hayek's daughter, Valentina.
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Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
I WAS here in Austin last night and all I heard was my bf doing his Bigfoot impression. My invite must have been lost in the mail.
Good for him! She's gorgeous.
I used to think that Camla Alves was pretty. But this was when she and T-Rex barely started going out. She always had shades on. Then they were photographed at a red carpet and eww. Not that great looking. Her eyebrows are so off putting for some reason.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to
PARTAY!!!
I wish them the best. They are both good looking and
they have two beautiful children. I love her hair cause it's real and not fake.
Doobies and Boobies--Brandon Brown
Looks like an eyejob for T-Flex:
http://news.makemeheal.com/celebrity-plastic-surgery/matthew-mcconaughey...
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
I miss Austin....that's all I got
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Welcome to MelGibsonTown, ya drunk bitch. - Nanners 05/30/2012
He sure is working that watery Blue Steel look in this pix. Maybe his arms look short next to his long head.
He used to be so beautiful, circa "A Time to Kill" but he has morphed into an elderly church lady. She, on the other hand, was never attractive. She is the type that always looks like she has a unibrow, even if you can't quite see it, and looks like she oozes grease out of her pores. Hairy and greasy are not attractive.
She was also stunningly annoying on that ridiculous show she hosted. It always sounded like she was faking that accent, but no, she was just that annoying.
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Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:17am.
it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/08/2009 - 5:00pm.
Karen Flatts is always a cunt
he looks like patrick bateman.
She must have no sense of smell to hook-up with him.
Did they have toilets in those tents??
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 4:45pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 4:31pm.
Sans and PSL, even if the trucker was telling the truth, the pink bag is moot because you can bet there's no probable cause to seize it and in any case, it's been sanitized by now. But if she claimed to the police that he cut her off, and the police say that doesn't matter because she was following too close (or whatever), then she's liable. She can't switch her story mid-stream because she's been caught out and have the cops believe her. What's she gonna say when the maintenance records prove she's full of it? The butler did it???
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It's all the black guy's fault!
Seriously...her camp is probably going to bribe the rental car co to validate the brakes failing nonsense. I wouldn't put anything past her.
^^^^^^^^^^^
I can't wait to see what she comes up with.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 4:31pm.
Sans and PSL, even if the trucker was telling the truth, the pink bag is moot because you can bet there's no probable cause to seize it and in any case, it's been sanitized by now. But if she claimed to the police that he cut her off, and the police say that doesn't matter because she was following too close (or whatever), then she's liable. She can't switch her story mid-stream because she's been caught out and have the cops believe her. What's she gonna say when the maintenance records prove she's full of it? The butler did it???
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It's all the black guy's fault!
Seriously...her camp is probably going to bribe the rental car co to validate the brakes failing nonsense. I wouldn't put anything past her.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
The tents were nicely furnished and had air conditioning. I heard they ran into accommodations problems due to the Republic of Texas biker rally being held here all weekend. It was a creative solution to a lack of hotel rooms.
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"Look at this lamb, I'm going to make condoms out of it so that you can ride me until your pussy says 'baaaaaah.'"
~ASkars as channeled by Michael K
Sans and PSL, even if the trucker was telling the truth, the pink bag is moot because you can bet there's no probable cause to seize it and in any case, it's been sanitized by now. But if she claimed to the police that he cut her off, and the police say that doesn't matter because she was following too close (or whatever), then she's liable. She can't switch her story mid-stream because she's been caught out and have the cops believe her. What's she gonna say when the maintenance records prove she's full of it? The butler did it???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Haha, yeah, brakes will do that when you don't put your foot on the brake pedal.
The brakes were overhauled two days before the accident. Nice try, dumb cunt.
I bet there were skid marks at the scene.
Lohan's brakes failed, she failed to brake, patato/ potatoe.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
PSL haha what an idjit!
They have ways of checking that out!
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...the end
Lohan needs a punch in the face. yes, first the truck cut her off. Now, her "brakes failed".
*rolls eyes*
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You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 4:15pm.
GET TF OUT! In a brand new car the brakes FAILED?????
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In a *rental* car, no less. Guess she didn't figure the rental company keeps maintenance records? man, I hope they call her out on her obvious bullshittery before her people try to pay off the rental car company, too.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Pretty cool. Either those are AC units blowing cool into the tents or Woody Harrelson has perfected his stoned-difier.
Submitted by PSL on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 4:06pm.
MK, NOTHING ablout Blowhan now claiming her brakes failed?
^^^^^^^^^^^^
GET TF OUT! In a brand new car the brakes FAILED?????
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 4:06pm.
MK, NOTHING ablout Blowhan now claiming her brakes failed?
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I thought she said the truck cut her off? what are the odds. Bitch can't keep her lies straight anymore.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
MK, NOTHING ablout Blowhan now claiming her brakes failed?
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You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello