The Rent Is Due: OctoMom Takes It Off For A Check

TMZ says that OctoMom is a quick second away from being put out on the curb, because she hasn't paid the mortgage on her house in La Habra, CA and it's headed for the auction block on Thursday. So what's a fame whoring mother of a baby brigade supposed to do to put her seventy million chirruns into a new house? Get them titties out for a British tabloid, of course! Closer Magazine (via DM) handed Octo a $10,000 check to pay the rent on her new house and she gave them this image that is probably making your throat give birth to an octoheave.

Octo didn't only bare her temple of a million fetuses body for Closer, she also talked to them about how she's a wonderful mother and how even though her uterus is KO'ed out for good, her body magically bounced back after she hatched out 8 kids.

On how everybody sees her as a crazy bitch who shouldn't even be in charge of raising 8 Tamagotchis, but she's really the epitome of a perfect mother: "The kids have structure and discipline and only eat healthily, they don’t know what candy is! I’ve done a really great job with them. I don’t get any credit."

On how she dims her natural sexy so that men won't hit on her: "I get too much male attention, but I won’t date until the octuplets are 18 - I live for them. I know a lot of women like male attention, but I’ll go out with no make-up on and wear tracksuits, a wig and even a fake pregnancy stomach to put them off."

On how she eats like a horse (pause for your laugh) and how her body is like a rubber band: "I just pinged back into shape like a rubber band after the kids, I don’t know how I did it. I eat like a horse, don’t count calories and have never owned a set of scales. I gained an entire human when I was pregnant with the octuplets, going from 10st (140lbs) to over 19st (266lbs), but two months later, I was a size 8 again. Now, I never weigh myself."

Yup, bitch is still crazy. Men aren't slobbering over her with their eyes, they're running from her insane ass, because they're afraid that if they stand too close they'll knock her ass up. Bitch's body didn't magically ping back into shape, unless by "ping back into shape" she means that a plastic surgeon pulled her stomach skin all the way up to her neck. Sadly, even after the entire Extreme Makeover: Home Edition crew renovated her body, she still has two gorilla landing strips for brows. How dreadful. Octo should take some of that $10k and use it to pay for a date with an eyebrow artiste. So she won't look like a topless Groucho Marx the next time she poses half-naked for rent money.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by almostfamous88 on Fri, 03/30/2012 - 11:17am.

she's hideous

Submitted by Margo on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:58pm.

I've done an informal survey, and most heterosexual men would hit that. Furthermore, they have done worse.

Submitted by kiwikim on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:39pm.

Sad she used all the money she made on plastic surgery, a publicist, trainers, etc. First thing she should have done is pay off her house complete. Now she's going to be living off the state again. Fucking bitch. Student loans, millions in medicare and now we've got to provide her with housing. I can't stand the Republicans, but the fucking fact that the democrats propose a system that forces us all into supporting this bluddger makes me want to puke.

Submitted by SnarkAttack on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 1:07pm.

Holy shit -- Mimi's photoshopper has taken on side jobs!
Wait until Mimi finds out...

Submitted by JeanGenie on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 3:10am.

She also looks so mannish to me.
I can't with this idiot. She so many issues... I'm just sad for the 14 kids.

Someone of you posted a young picture of her. It's sad, she looked cute and lively, then.

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Silvio Berlusconi, just die already.

Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 12:07am.

Haha TurtR, she DOES have the same eyes and eyebrows as that paper clip, LOL! I just can't with her. Get a normal job woman, accept that being a model may not be in the cards for you! smdh ;]

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Submitted by Athenys on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 11:40pm.

My uncle raised 11 kids on a bare bones salary while his wife was a stay at home mom. What gets me is that despite making more money than he ever did from the publicity this lady is ALWAYS one step away from being broke. I know having that many kids of the same age is not cheap but throwing money away on rent? She should already own a modest property by now. Instead she went out and bought a half a million dollar home that she knew damn well she wouldn't be able to afford. She's such a delusional mess that I can't even bring myself to hate her anymore.

Submitted by jim on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 10:46pm.

SO THIS FUCKING CUNT HAS TIME TO WORKOUT AND "GET IN SHAPE",BUT CAN'T FIND TIME TO GET A FUCKING JOB? THIS FUCKING IDIOT HAS COST US CAL. TAX PAYERS UPWARDS OF 5 MILLION DOLLARS! SELL THOSE KIDS TO GOOD AND DESERVING PARENTS AND FIND THE NEAREST CLIFF AND JUMP, SO NO ONE HAS TO SEE THAT FUCKING SHIT FACE AND CASPER NASTY SKINEVER AGAIN! IF A CLIFF IS TO FAR FIND THE NEXT OCTD BUS AND STAND IN FRONT OF IT...THANKS

Submitted by michmash on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 9:42pm.

So who takes care of her litter when she's off "earning" a living? Isn't her house like Lord of the Flies, with the kids fending for themselves? Tell me that these kids won't be home schooled.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 9:40pm.

.........................

*faint*

Submitted by StellaRox on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 8:57pm.

Yeah, Okkkkk Octomom men are definetly attracted to that -------> http://www.tmz.com/2012/03/27/octomom-nude-photos-topless/?adid=hero2
I remember there was a time I actually felt bad for you, but this story proves ur crazy as shit ,ur a delusional lying famewhore

Submitted by StellaRox on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 8:57pm.

Submitted by kacky on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 7:18pm.

So she talks like an English person now? More high-standard British pseudo-journalism.

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Cockadouche!

Submitted by crazyassmom on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 7:13pm.

I thought she (like LiLo) said she'd *never* do nudity??

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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.

Submitted by lovelylaney on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 6:27pm.

I want to know more about the identical twins on the top of the cover!

I like the 28-page real life mag tag as well! Fabulous!

Submitted by Bizzarelife on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 6:20pm.

I find it incredibly hard to believe her abdomen would be that flat after being pregnant with multiples. I think she has had a psychotic break, and does not know what reality is. This is a very sad and unfortunate individual.

Submitted by Margo on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 6:04pm.

Was the photo shop pen broken?

Submitted by taliaann on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 4:48pm.

I have difficulty believing this trick knows what and how much of it a stone measures.

Submitted by joanne on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 3:54pm.

They paid for her opinions? Yikes!

Submitted by Stanley_is_hairy on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 3:53pm.

I love how she says she just snapped right back but it's sooo obvious that she's had a tummy tuck. No one's belly button naturally looks like that.

Submitted by MadgesVadge on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 3:42pm.

Submitted by TurtReturns on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 4:11pm.
HOLY SHIT GUYS:

It just came to me, what she looks like with the eyebrows and the hair. For some reason, she looks to me like that annoying ass paperclip guy that used to pop up on my computer screen a long time ago when I would be working on a document, anyone remember that???

Sorry about the long ass link.

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HAHAHAHA! OMG she does!

I love that paper clip. But he used to get sassy and tap on the screen if I was idle for too long. What a judgemental bitch, I'm not slacking!

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

Submitted by Whatever on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 3:21pm.

YIKES! She should be paid to keep her clothes on!

Submitted by HangryHippo on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 3:11pm.

ah, so this is what people look like without photoshop...or wait, is it photoshopped? i'm scared that i don't even know...

www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack

Submitted by Emeriesan on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 3:04pm.

This is like a Dove commercial except with odd-looking folds, that cannot be anything except the work of a plastic surgeon. Weirdest body ever!

Submitted by LOW BUDGET BYTCH on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:47pm.

Why is her skin greige?

Submitted by TurtReturns on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:45pm.

Somebody better click on my damn link and give me some validation.

Submitted by crazyassmom on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 7:17pm.

I clicked on your link little turtle! Feel better deary? Lol. =p
And....she does, I also remember Clippy! May still have him, if IIRC! Lol

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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.

Submitted by Kandykane on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:43pm.

That body doesn't look like it 'pinged' back from anything ..... doughy with a touch of grandma and an ass that sags almost to the back of her knees ....how is that pinging back?

Also, this isn't the first time that the octohouse has been thisclose to foreclosure. Can you imagine being the parent/s of this crazy ho and having to welcome this lot into your home rather than the streets after the auction takes place on Thursday? $10k isn't enough to cover the mortgage due on the house ... it's probably not enough to give it a good cleaning and bring the utilities up to date. Octonut is probably going to use it for lipo.

Submitted by WickedSwitch on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:42pm.

OMG!

It looks like it belongs in the hills have eyes! eww!

why does her butt cheek look as if it stops mid thigh?

gross indeed! that's just wrong

Submitted by TurtReturns on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:41pm.

HOLY SHIT GUYS:

Sorry about the long ass link.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=the+paperclip+that+used+to+pop+up&hl=en&s...

Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:40pm.

aaand then I read her dreckitude.

I suppose I shouldn't expect more than lies and delusions from a lying, delusional bitch.

anyway if she's "so tiny" let's see her sport the always with wingskini that girl on the sports illustrated swimsuit edition was wearing.

no?

of course not.

because then the tummy tuck scar would be on full display.

as long as there's no one other than this psycho trick believing that it's possible for your stomach to stretch to oblivion and then bounce back to the bikini-ready position.

just saying, bitch.

Submitted by TurtReturns on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:38pm.

That is NOT sexy.

Submitted by ditquoi on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:36pm.

spray tan, octoho, spray tan. *smh* :-P

Submitted by NDNchief on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:34pm.

"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-

I just can't get past what Barney Stinson refers to as "the crazy eyes."
She looks and sounds bat shit crazy.
Not even Spaz looks that crazy.

Submitted by mikki on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:26pm.

You can see the body lift scar right there...what is she talking about her body bounced back?

Delusional.

The magazine misquoted her. What she really said was "this is the body you get when you bounce a check to your plastic surgeon."

Submitted by Big Bertha on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:26pm.

She looks like she smells like shit.

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Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!

Submitted by BigBadMac on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:16pm.

How the fuck does she manage to be so dark and so pale at the same time?

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"I can resist everything but temptation"

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:07pm.

Bitch looks like a raw bread stick with a face. Poppin Fug. No.

Submitted by Dog on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:02pm.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 2:37pm.

Understated yet elegant and very heartfelt. I give it 9 trout-mouths out of 10.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by jackie on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 1:10pm.

Lol@ meatblocks, ikr

Imo she should just say fuck it and do porn full time. Get a tan, rub some concealer on those surgery scars, fix up her vagina through surgery or whatever and get to work.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 1:07pm.

gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross. gross.

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"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

Submitted by M.E. on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 1:02pm.

In the other photos TMZ has there is a straight on shot and her belly button is a slit. She has a tummy tuck now doubt.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 12:57pm.

Cake, that's for sharing. I knew that Angelina flick was a dismal flop. No one saw it.

Michael needed to black box this pic. I tuned in during lunch and almost chucked up my lunch.

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

Submitted by ponchiks on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 12:54pm.

Didn't this bitch actually confess to having a tummy tuck or a body lift? I am pretty sure that I can see the scars from it.

I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!

Submitted by skinny fat on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 12:49pm.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i don't need to see that!

Submitted by BabyJane on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 12:42pm.

This dumb bitch is still making stupid decisions. Why turn down a million dollars to do a fetish video with no nudity, but turn around and do this shit for ten thousand. GAAW this dumb bitch gets on my fucking nerves.

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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

Submitted by chaka1 on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 12:33pm.

Why is Miss Saruman so pasty white? Is she covered in flower. Are we making octomom cookies?

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Tue, 03/27/2012 - 12:24pm.

I just yakked.

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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is every argument against nepotism rolled into one.