The bland bitch battlefield is lukewarming up! ScarJo told Cosmo in their latest issue that marrying Ryan Reynolds was the best thing she’s ever done in her entire life, but they barely spent time together and moving on was the right thing to do. Blah, blah, blah, burp, blah, blah, blah. But some source tells UsWeekly that ScarJo hasn’t moved on and is a member of the “I Don’t Want To Fuck Him, But I Don’t Want Any Other Trick To Fuck Him Either” club. Apparently, ScarJo is not happy that Blake Lively is screwing on her leftovers and now she’s having doubts about leaving him. The source put it like this:
“Scarlett is pissed that he’s not under her spell anymore. She realized what a great catch Ryan was.”
The source went on to say that Ryan would’ve reunited with ScarJo, but she ruined things forever when she tainted her parts with Sean Penn’s prune dick.
So what to believe? The words that came out of ScarJo’s mouth to a magazine or the words from a question mark to a weekly tabloid? Or do you not want to waste any of your “give a fuck” rations on this. Yeah, the third option is the winner. Don’t get me wrong, I roll out of bed in the morning for a good catfight, but this is not one of those. Sucking off a snowman would be more exciting than witnessing these two fight. Watching ScarBore and Blake NotSoLively fight over Ryan Reynolds would be like watching a rutabaga and a piece of jicama fight over cauliflower. And yes, I’ve seen a rutabaga and a piece of jicama fight over cauliflower thanks to a few bong hits. (SPOILER ALERT: the rutabaga always wins)