Time To Feel Old
The year Dakota Fanning was born, some of us we were watching a speeding white Bronco on our GoldStar televisions in between sipping on Citra soda and choosing which free Vhs movies we want from Columbia House. And now look what Dakota Fanning did yesterday. File this under: Things that make a white hair sprout out of my ear hole (right after "bringing a sweater with me to the movie theater" and "saying 'yes" to car rental insurance").
Popeater reports that 17-year-old Dakota Fanning turned her tassel and threw her cap up with her fellow high school graduates at the Walt Disney Concert Hall in L.A. yesterday afternoon. Dakota actually earned a real high school diploma and not a GED she got from writing down the answers her tutor whispered into her earpiece because she was too busy doing tequila shots off of Colin Farrell's nutsack to study.
Dakota is supposed to start college at NYU this fall.
NOOOOO. NOOOO. And NOOOOOO. This is not supposed to happen. Hollywood scientists were supposed to keep Dakota Fanning a little girl forever. Because when Dakota grows, the reality that we'll all be massaging each other's achy anuses with Icy Hot gets closer. A young Dakota Fanning was the real fountain of youth. Actually, since I put it that way. Rubbing each other's achy anuses doesn't sound that bad. You get the Icy Hot and I'll grab my sweater.
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Good girl for finishing & continuing her studies!
This don't me feel old MK, speak for yo'self! ;D
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"... looking in her face is heaven for all the youth and hope and good will." Thamar 03/01/2012 ☺♪☼♫
Well, time passes quickly and I am happy to be in peace with that. I am now preparing for my master in public health and yes, when Dakota was born I was doing all those things, still I don't feel that old, there's room for few more years.
With her mug, she's lucky she started acting as a kid and was grand-fathered into the system. There's no way she'd even land an audition if she'd started at 17.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
I dunno... Her parents did name her "Dakota," thereby dooming her to work in the entertainment or holistic medicine fields.
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Crimewave
I'm glad they didn't do it at the school, it would have been a mad house around here.
Here's one for the oldies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baqzVb1iWag
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Wow. I feel ancient. Thought, not as ancient as the Harry Potter kids make me feel. I remember when those kids were 8 or 10, and now they're in college and shit.
Anyway, I've always liked Dakota...she seems to be keeping out of the stereotypical Hollywood scene, so good for her.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
I dont know about you MK but I was in utero when that girl made her first movie, oh.. and by in utero I mean I was sucking a huge german man's fat cock in a public restroom at the port authority after he fucked his pregnant wife and she wasnt giving him any. Do I feel old? Nope. I feel blessed.
Move along. nothing to see here.
Always liked her and always seemed wise beyond her years. Anyone know what kind of student she was? I know she was a cheerleader but was she a smarty? I feel Elle may end up bigger than Dakota. Just a feeling.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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My daughter will be 20 this year, and I swear I just brought her home from the hospital yesterday. One of my best friends from high school contacted me on FB the other day. Her son just got married. I remember when he was born. Time really does fly. I still feel young, but middle age is creeping up on me.
I work in HR and I hate it when some kid comes in that was born when I graduated from high school--or even later. Talk about feeling old.
*zooms in on Rascal*
Anyone seen my dentures?
Damn, y'all are getting old.
I say "y'all" 1) because I am an okie and slightly stupid. and 2) because I am timeless and will never age.
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Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK
Yea...this shit really does make me depressed. Though when she was born I was just a wee little thing who watched nothing but Nickelodeon and the Power Rangers (but still have a great recollection of what went on in those times), BUT STILL!
"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)
I think she just naturally has small teeth and relatively "narrow" smile.
what the hell is wrong with her mouth situation? i know she had braces, but it is still fucked up!
What makes me feel old is when I go into a convenience store and see the "you must be born on or before this date" signs for cigs and alcohol.
Only momentarily, though. I think to myself, you're only as old as you look, and as old as the chicks you can still bag.
Yes, I'm sort of morphing into Neil Patrick Harris' character on How I Met Your Mother.
Well done, Dakota! (As my old, born-in-the-60s ass looks for my dried plums ... err, prunes.)
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"Don't think that I'm not in the process of training him to sit still in a basket while I lower it down to the sidewalk from my window so that I don't have to put on sweats to take him out!"
ah Lucifer.....as someone born in 1970, I just got new padding installed on my rocker, since my ass doesn't have much/.
I ordered my scooter- it will be here next week. :)
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Don't scream about, don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out
Meh. Now, Elijah Wood turning 30 this year...*that* made me feel old!
She seems like a good girl with a good head on her shoulders, my daughter is a bad girl who gives head on her knees (I've caught her)
https://twitter.com/#!/abross79
Good for her. I can't hate on this girl. She seems to be a nice, normal kid.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:13pm.
"I bet all the fossilised people born in the 70s need carbon dating to produce their birth certificate..."
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Yo, Lucy, go easy on an old man, woodya?
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
I think she watched some of her old movies, creeped herself out, and decided she wanted to be normal. She was a creepy ass kid.
ZiggyStardust on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:44pm.
Ziggster, you're only 23? Aww. Honestly, I would have never guessed you to be so young (take that as a genuine compliment).
My post to fuzzyslippers goes double for you too. Stay positive. Life has some really hard lows and some incredibly awesome highs... It would be nice if life would just give us a steady buzz without the pain, hurt and anguish...
In retrospect though...the really hurtful things can make you appreciate the good things in your life so much more intensely.
As an example: I had constant dental pain through almost ALL of my early twenties but I was so terrified and traumatized by dentists after some very harrowing experiences with dentists when I was a leetle bit (my mother used medical coupons from the government [i.e. 'welfare'] so we were subjected to the most psycho dentists from hades back then), so, I suffered for a very long time until my husband convinced me to take care of my teeth. Long story short? When I wasn't in constant pain any longer it totally changed my personality. I was so happy to feel 'normal'...
Pain can definitely make you appreciate pleasure.
Pleasure will come to you young ones, and, once it does, you'll appreciate and embrace it. If your life was always perfect and 'easy' would you really appreciate it?
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Good for her for not going the route of other Hollywood starlets that thrive on negative publicity and stupid stunts. I'm 24 and this surprisingly doesn't make me feel old; my little cousin about to turn 14 who just graduated 8th grade makes me feel old :(
he rocks rough n stuff with his afro puff
heyyyyyyyy
rock on wit yo bad self
:D
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:44pm.
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:43pm.
You're a member of Dlisted Gold, right?
I've sent them to your inbox.
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Uhuh. *side-eye*
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
I commend this girl for actually graduating and staying out of trouble (that we know of) but she is still really creepy looking and I don't get her appeal at all.
http://mycashdragon.com/?id=1230
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:43pm.
You're a member of Dlisted Gold, right?
I've sent them to your inbox.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
Submitted by angel_i on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:43pm.
You're a member of Dlisted Gold, right?
I've sent them to your inbox.
=========================================
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
fuzzyslippers on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:28pm.
You are a part of my daughter's generation. I won't quote Freud, Fromm, Jung or Yoda...but, I will say this, "Living isn't easy but it sure beats the alternative".
When I was a 20-something I was a young mother and wife...and I was terrified of fucking up that little bit of sanity that by the grace of God...I was afforded.
Sure, twenty three would be considered old back in the pioneer days when most folks died at 50 and married in their teens...but, now there is (thankfully) a whole lot less of 'survival' instinct going on.
Your generation IS hyper cerebral though and you definitely think a lot more than my generation did...
Stay positive. This world will always be 'uncertain'...
_ _my lame siggie_ _
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Submitted by Provolone on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 12:42pm.
*throws yellow SONY walkmen at wall*
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LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:36pm.
I'm only 23 and I already feel as though I've fucked up my life beyond repair.
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SHUT UP! You're only 23?!
PICS!
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Good for her!
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I'm here for your entertainment...
I'm only 23 and I already feel as though I've fucked up my life beyond repair.
Life is hard. It's important to start as you mean to go on. Otherwise you end up spending most of your time thinking about how you don't really want to live in this world anymore.
I wonder how many dreams new graduates have. Aerosmith told me to Dream On. Well, I did. Steven Tyler lied to me.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
I am a troll. Ignore
God, I'm 23 and I already feel like an old ass. This post literally made me think, "Holy shit, IT'S TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN (2011)!!!!!" Fuckit.
Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:13pm.
I feel fucked up and old when I hear about people who were born in the 90s doing adult shit; and that's with me being a product of the 80s.
I bet all the fossilised people born in the 70s need carbon dating to produce their birth certificate, while those born in the 60s have already turned into peat and are currently being dug out to produce petrol and natural gas :(
LMAO. I had to re-read your post a few times to totally digest the hilarity of it. You are fucking awesome. *swipes tear of laughter*
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Being 52-years-old, the same age as Madonna and Prince (and Michael Jackson would have been) I'm a lot closer to the end than the beginning.
As far as old age goes I plan on going down swinging. Just like Howard Fucking Hughes (minus the billions) I will wear empty Kleenex® boxes for shoes, grow nine inch fingernails and keep my piss in jars.
We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.” -Charles Bukowski
I feel fucked up and old when I hear about people who were born in the 90s doing adult shit; and that's with me being a product of the 80s.
I bet all the fossilised people born in the 70s need carbon dating to produce their birth certificate, while those born in the 60s have already turned into peat and are currently being dug out to produce petrol and natural gas :(
(jk)
Aren't you only 32, Michael? If this makes YOU feel old, then, I guess I should be feeling so ancient that I'm plucking daisy petals out of my toe crotches.
_ _my lame siggie_ _
My funky old website is still on Waybackmachine.org:
http://web.archive.org/web/20031203184830/http://www.darkseraphim.com/ds...
Download my 3 free fonts:
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She's actually a good little actor to boot. It'll be interesting to see which way she goes with her career, art house or the crappy blockbuster no soul pass the pay cheque route .
Actually, I felt older (not to mention vile) when Harry Potter paraded his stringy mount and vernal penis around that London stage.
*googles Columbia House with a real weird look on her face*
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Time to feel old indeed. I graduated 11 years ago yesterday.
Campbell Hall is an OK school--mainly rich kids. The Olsens went there, too.
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Crimewave
*crawls with tummy on floor, tries to pick self from floor, eats Gerber* this is how I will live my retired days. And hell yessssssss to freakin' sweaters in a movie theater. Last weekend I went to the movies...I didn't even drink anything during the movies and I wanted to peeeeeeeee so badddddddd!!! I felt like I wet myself but I didn't. lol why am I telling you this? oh cause we're on the same boat...to hell!!! lol
OT: congrats Dakota!!!
Coma Caca!
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Good for her! See Stage parents, it CAN be done. Your child CAN live a relatively normal life, while being a child star.
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Don't scream about, don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out
God. I feel so old!
Good job, Dakota. Seems like this girl (and her parents) has a good head on her shoulders. No Lohanesque drama so far.
And with an honors cord to boot!
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
MK - don't sweat the age on your drivers license - we know you're still a babe - you just happen to have the soul of an old folk. You reach back in the past way further than my age and I could probably be your mom.
Your proof positive that herb doesn't completely destroy your brain cells. You often dredge up stuff that I forgot decades ago.
And the reference to Icy Hot still gives me pain. I remember when my mother let me use her jar - after she told me she had no Ben Gay. Her words were - 'don't rub it in like Ben Gay!' Of course, my azz didn't listen and after deeply rubbing it on my leg I felt like it was on fire. It's the anti-Ben Gay - do not rub it in, has since been burnt into my brain - never, again will I suffer that pain. The Icy Hot hurt me more than the damn injury.