Mike Myers Got Married On The Down Low

March 4, 2011 / Posted by:

This might go into the “it’s not a secret if nobody cares” pile, but I’m going to tell you anyway. Now, I didn’t even know (or I forgot) that Mike Myers marriage to his wife of a million years was ever officially cremated and sprinkled all around the Toronto gay haunts several blind items say he frequents. I also didn’t know (or I forgot, the sequel) that Mike Myers picked up a brand new girlfriend, but apparently he did that a long ass time ago and now he’s become her husband. Well, this is one way to fuck his name out of all those gay blind items.

Page Six says that 47-year-old Mike married his girlfriend of 5 years Kelly Tisdale, who co-owns the NYC tea shop Teany with her ex-piece Moby, five months ago in a private ceremony in NYC. Mike’s rep shook their head “yes” when asked if 30-something Kelly is his wife now.

Everybody and their butt fuck buddy has been screaming from every corner that Wayne isn’t exactly shy about how he schwings for schlong, but I don’t know if I believe it. I’ve never seen proof. I mean, I once saw Mike walking down a street in SoHo and he was wearing a navy sweatshirt, CARGO FUCKING SHORTS and some dirty sneakers my mom wouldn’t even wear to clean house. My gaydar went to sleep. Maybe he tricked me by wearing an outfit from Tommy Girl’s House of Disguises. Who knows.

I am happy about Mike’s news, but only because it led me to this picture of him with Kelly at the CIA headquarters. If you squint your eyes and shake your head it sorts of looks like a “Yup, we’re gay and we’re in love!” People Magazine cover starring Wayne and Garth.

(Image via EW)

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