Michael Lohan Whored His Daughter Out To Letterman For Her Own Good!

If that isn’t a face that makes your hand assume the fist position, then I don’t know what is. The mutant piece of turtle jerky that is Michael Lohan is once again trying to take the gold medal from White Oprah in the Pimp Whorelympics. Michael admitted to TMZ that he’s the one who booked Lindsay Lohan for David Letterman’s show tomorrow night. Last night, Late Night announced that LiLo would do The Top 10 list from a studio in Los Angeles, but they quickly retracted that statement after she denied it. They later said that someone posing as LiLo’s friend booked the appearance without her consent. That someone was Michael Lohan.

Michael’s side of the story is that he approached LiLo about the idea when David Letterman made fun of her during a Top 10 last week. LiLo was into it, but the deal exploded into freckle dust when her people found out about it and advised her to not do it. Michael poured a Trenta cup full of WHINE in front of TMZ, “Anything positive that I bring into her life … [her people] try to nix it.”

Lindsay Lohan’s life is a Late Night Top 10 list, so I don’t see how this can be diagnosed as “positive.” The only positive thing Michael and White Oprah can bring to LiLo’s life is a joint letter announcing their resignation as her fucking parents. But in the meantime, Michael should take a leisurely train ride to Tennessee to eat party tacos with Billy Ray Cyrus (not a euphemism).