President of what? The United States of Dumb Sluts? If that’s what they’re talking about then I’ll say Bristol Palin at the next debate, because every dumb sentence I type and every act of ho shit I do is to win that position. Just look at my medical file and letter from high school counselor if you don’t believe me. But you know, after the sound of locusts humming the grim reaper song filled my ears when I first saw this screen grab, I thought about it and realized it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
First of all, if Bristol was president, she’d probably go wild, drop the abstinence shit and order that the water supply be replaced with lube supply. Second of all, President Bristol would never give a speech during primetime TV hours, because she wouldn’t want to miss her favorite shows. YES! Bristol/Snooki 20whenever! Where do I drop my vote? In that cage of wild bears you say?
And in other news, I want to announce that I won’t rule out marrying Anderson Cooper and giving birth to his silver fox baby.