The Keeper of the Unicorn Forest even brings the raw sparkly emotion when he’s got a lobster bib tied around his neck and an ear of corn in his hand. Look at him smoldering out of his every pore. I don’t know if he wants to throw that corn into a fire or seductively breathe onto its neck (yes, corn cobs have necks) like he’s ready to suck an orgasm out of it.
That corn just wants to dry up and pop into a bowl of buttery popcorn. Maybe then RPattz will be pleased with it? Who knows, but I do know that I need to see more dramatic performances like this when I go to Red Lobster. We shouldn’t laugh and smile over lobsters. We must brooooooood.
Anyway, RPattz did a whole lot of simmering in December’s Vanity Fair. The shoot was typical RPattz. In one photo, he’s like “Oh hey, look at me! I’m James Dean.” And in another, he’s like “Oh hey, look at me! I’m using a piano like an ottoman.” Etc…Etc….
In the interview with Vanity Fair, RPattz once again denies that he’s rubbing on that Kristen Stewart chick. RPattz said, “It doesn’t make any difference what you say to the tabloids. I’ve literally been across the country from Kristen, and it’s like ‘Oh, they were on secret dates!’ It’s like ‘Where? I can’t get out of my hotel room!’ ”
I believe him. I mean, he doesn’t have time to fuck on girls when he’s too busy pondering over things like corn.