The Amazing Race: Falling Cheese!

Whoever came up with the cheese challenge in Switzerland on last night’s Amazing Race deserves a lapdance from hillbilly hotness Linda for a job well done, because that shit was gold. Cheese covered gold that is.

The teams had to climb up some hill in Switzerland and bring down heavy blocks of cheese. Almost every single ho busted their ass or dropped their block of cheese causing it to roll down the hill. The latter caused gay pepaw Mel White, whose son and teammate is Mike White, to say, “Don’t let the cheese hit me!” This is what I say whenever I come face to cheese with a dirty peen. Seriously, there was cheese flying all over that hill! It’s like Joaquin Phoenix pulled down his pants and did the dick slappy dance.

This shit really needs to be an Olympic sport. Watching bitches eat grass while carrying loads of cheese is my new favorite pastime.

And Luke is my no-no’s pick of the week. I want to whisper sweet nothings into his peen hole. No, I wasn’t going to say ear! I’m not that fucking insensitive.