Beauty And The Beast

Don’t even fucking ask which is the beauty and which is the beast. Don’t! If you don’t know, then you need to immediately stick your head in a dirty toilet as punishment. The Empress of Lucite has no business cavorting with peons like Christian Audigier. The douche is from fucking Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy! If Shauna Sand did go poo poo, she would use his clothes to wipe her extremely elegant ass with.

I mean, look at her! It’s like looking at a one-of-a-kind Waterford crystal goblet next to a plastic cup from Big Lots. She should be dining with royalty, not smoking on the streets with commoners. At least she’s wearing her exquisite lucite heels. If only I could be one of her exquisite lucite heels for just one day. It would make everything so…clear.

Anyway, Shauna Sand partied with peasants at STK last night. Margaret Cho was there with La Pequena. Okay, that’s not La Pequena. It’s Selena Luna, but they are probably separated at birth.

The Piv in a v-neck and Sean Penn also showed up. Those two probably fought over which one of them was going to suck on Shauna’s scrumptious toes. Her toe jam is probably like fine pate.