The Christ of Scientology

January 23, 2007 / Posted by:

Tom Cruise has been labeled the “Chris” of Scientology by leaders of the cult religion. They believe Tom is the one to spread the word about their crazy alien worshipping. He’s been a member for almost 20 years and leader David Miscavige believes Tom will be worshipped like Jesus for his teachings.

A source said, “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure. Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realize he was right.”

If Tom Cruise is Jesus Christ does that make Katie Holmes Mary Magadalene? Well, she is a whore. Let’s go with this whole Tom is Jesus thing. I’ll grab the nails, you grab the cross. Wait, the wooden cross isn’t good enough for Tom. Someone ask Madge if we can borrow her disco ball cross. That seems just right for the Cruise.

Thanks Rikki

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