“Haggard” Bitch!

November 3, 2006 / Posted by:


Haggard prays to God to please not make it hurt this time!

I don’t know what the president of the National Association of Evangelicals does, but apparently one of his duties doesn’t include fucking male escorts. Bummer. Reverend Ted Haggard quit his job after accusations by some male hooker that they were doing it hard for 3 years.

Teddy is stepping aside pending investigation by the church. He is apparently head of some church in Colorado Springs. Ted has admitted some guilt, but not all.

Ted made this statement on Wednesday, “I’ve never had a gay relationship with anybody. I’m steady with my wife. I’m faithful to my wife.” Teddy is married with five kids.

He issued this statement yesterday, “I am voluntarily stepping aside from leadership so that the overseer process can be allowed to proceed with integrity. I hope to be able to discuss this matter in more detail at a later date. In the interim, I will seek both spiritual advice and guidance.”

The male hooker in question claims that they met on the internet and Teddy paid him $200 a pop and that they also did coke with each other. Teddy denies the drug allegations, claiming that he’s never touched a drug in his life. The hooker came forward when he learned that Teddy’s church supports the proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.

This dumb bitch’s wife better leave his ass. She won’t though, because she’s going to stand by him and shit. I love how he’s asking God to help him and shit. I’m sure you were asking for God’s help when that hooker was screwing you up the hiney. Damn, his ass is probably into some fucked up shit. This hooker should’ve videotaped it, for real. I would’ve videotaped that shit and sent it to that dumb whore, Jan Crouch. They are like church rivals right? Anyway, I can’t wait to see the shit that will turn up in the next coming weeks. I love gay thrillers set in the backdrop of the church!

That being said, I’d hit it. Just kidding. Ok, maybe just once.

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