They Make Sense

Star Magazine reports that Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder are a new couple. They’re good together. They are both responsible for pretty much ruining “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” with their wooden chemistry. Hopefully, their dates will consist of acting classes and colonics.

The original Wino and Keanu are currently filming “The Privates Lives of Pippa Lee” together. A source said they are always in each other’s trailers. The source went on to say, “They are also always hugging on the set. The chemistry is really electric.” Electric? In their pretty, little dreams. There’s nothing electric about two pieces of wet wood.

OG Wino has also been spending time at Keanu’s NYC apartment during breaks in filming.

They belong together. Keanu lives like a homeless person, so at least he doesn’t have to worry about her stealing anything. Unless he wants her to steal his heart. Awwww. BARF! Donkey punch me if I ever get that sappy again.

Sticky Fingers Winona Strikes Again?

Winona Ryder was arrested 6 years ago for stealing a bunch of shit from Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. She was sentenced to 3 years probation and community service. Has she struck again? The National Enquirer (via DM) claims Winona was leaving a CVS Pharmacy in Hollywood when the security alarm went off. Winona kept walking. A security guard went after Winona and searched her bags. He found a bunch of make-up she didn’t pay for. She apparently told him, “I don’t know how that happened.” Spoken like a true klepto. My favorite part of “Cops” episodes is when the crazy crackhead always says to the police how they don’t know why that baggie of heroin got in their bag. The heroin fairy put it there!

A store employee confirmed that Winona took shit. They said, “We took unpaid items back and she left the store.” Winona’s rep denied the story at first, but said she would double check when the Enquirer told her an employee confirmed it.

It’s a requirement in Hollywood to have some sort of fucked up addiction. You can either be a crackhead, boozer, sex addict or klepto! If this is true then I’m really disappointed with CVS and won’t be shopping there anymore. They had their chance to get the bitch arrested with their store name splattered across every newspaper. Winona Ryder getting arrested at the CVS for stealing a little Bonne Bell would have made my day. I will never forgive them.

Thanks Mike

This Is Her Natural Expression

Winona Ryder attended the Valentino show in Paris yesterday with a new dude. It looks like they go to the same hairdresser. Hair twins. Winona needs to let her face relax. Maybe she can’t. She looks like an ass virgin getting it for the first time. We all had that look on our faces when we got it in the butt for the first time. That look like, “I don’t know if I can do this……..my ass is going to explode all over his dick!”

Oh Wino! Just relax and let your ass explode or just lay off the eye lifts.

Winona Ryder Is A Vulcan Mother

Slow Down Winona!

It’s Just Stealing