She Has A Lot Of Nerve

How dare Sarah Larson show her wax face around these parts. The Robot Call Girl should be in a classroom writing “I Am A Terrible Gold Digger” over and over again on a chalkboard.

It looks like she dyed her hair a lovely shade of bullshit brown. It still doesn’t hide the fact that she has failed at life! She was well on her way to becoming my newest hero and she shattered my dreams!

Anyway, Robot Call Girl hosted a party at Tao in Las Vegas on Friday night. She told People that she’s loving the single life and not dating Jason Statham despite the rumors, “It’s working for me. I’m staying single. I’m not dating anyone right now. I’ve been focusing a lot on work and things are going very well.” Translation: Robot Call Girl’s agency knows she fucked up, so they aren’t sending her out anymore.

Here’s some pics of Robot Call Girl looking like an Asian robot call girl at Tao on Friday night.

Robot Call Girl Speaks!

I’m offering up this close-up picture of Robot Call Girl, because I really need you to tell me that this skeezer is made of wax and artificial parts. Actually, scratch that. If this bitch was a real robot, she would have finished the job and nabbed George Clooney by getting knocked up or getting him drunk and marrying his ass. She is a failure!!!

Even though she sucks at gold digging, Sarah Larson is whoring herself out to magazines for interviews. Hello! took the bait and she did some “exclusive” interview with them. The word “exclusive” should be loosely used when it comes to that skank! I’m sorry, but I’m mad at her for not trapping The Clooney when she had the chance!

Sarah claims she’s still friends with George, “We still remain friends and have kept in touch. In fact, we spoke over the phone a couple of days ago.” George only called because he left his favorite dildo at her house.

The dumb bitch went on to say, “Most people know George has a great sense of humor and is an adept storyteller, but I will always miss his extraordinary dance moves.” Okay, she’s a robot. Humans do not talk like that.

Sarah ended by talking about all the offers coming her way, “I’ve had some amazing offers come in, including one modeling campaign that may bring me to England soon. I can’t talk about it yet because it’s not a done deal. I hope it happens because I’ve never been to England, and I’d love to spend some time there. If I do end up there, I could find a nice British boy. I’d be open to the idea. I hear they have a good sense of humor.”

Modeling opportunity in England?! Please. This dumb dumb has been responding to her spam e-mail again, hasn’t she? I’m surprised she also didn’t say that she’s in talks to help a Nigerian official move millions of dollars from his homeland and in return he’s going to give her 25%.

And “modeling opportunity” is call girl code for “an overnight orgy.”

Georgie Has Already Moved On

The ink on Sarah Larson’s final invoice is barely dry and George Clooney has already moved on! That’s what Page Six claims anyway. A source told them that Georgie started dating some other chick months before he dumped Sarah’s mannequin ass.

The source went on to say that George knew he was going to cancel Sarah’s contract, but kept the relationship going, so that she could get a little more shine in the spotlight. He thought it would help her “career.” Yeah, her career as America’s #1 ho.

Clooney’s new piece has been described as blonde and in her mid-30s. Hmmm…blonde….,,in her mid-30s? Wait! He’s totally dating the woman of his dreams, Brad Pitt! I know Brad is 40-something, but in dark lighting he could pass for 30s. Angie Jolie better tell Maddox to get his guns out. It’s war.

Seriously, Georgie’s spokesbitch responded by saying, “How does one as public as George secretly date anyone?” He’s been secretly smashing dudes for a long ass time and has pretty much gotten away with it. It ain’t hard to keep secrets. That’s what S&M dungeons are for!

Not Hot

Yes, it’s this trick again! Sarah Larson visited Christian Audigier’s offices yesterday to talk about a possible modeling job. And of course, she brought the paps with her. Christian gave Sarah some outfits to try on and “model” in. TyTy Baby would not approve. Sarah isn’t smiling with her eyes. She’s hardcore butt fucking with her eyes. I really want to trip that sofa over.

I know this ho needs to make cash now that George Clooney isn’t putting money in the bank anymore, but, but can’t she just shuttle off to Hustler’s offices already. Better yet, homegirl needs to write a damn tell-all! I want all the greasy, shitty details of the Clooney’s sex life.

Below is video of Sarah and Christian. It’s a strange experience hearing her talk. I always say to myself, “She speaks?”

There’s A New Ho On The Stroll

And so it begins! George Clooney’s former call girl robot, Sarah Larson, sashayed her ass down Robertson Blvd. yesterday with the paps in tow. She even was gracious enough to stop and sign a few autographs. There is something wrong with you in the brains if you’re asking for Sarah Larson’s autograph. I mean, just take a piece of paper and write the word HO in big letters. It’s the same thing!

Where was Phoebe Price during all of this fuckery? She needs to defend her turf!

You already know what’s next for Sarah. She’s so transparent! Playboy, another reality show, music album and when none of that works, sex tape! Can we just skip to the end already? And to think that I actually respected this hooker at one point! She fucked up her game!

George Clooney Does Not Like Fake Chichis

Sarah Larson reportedly got some titty sacks put in early last month. Above is a picture of Sarah in March and then Sarah late last month. Fake chichis! A source told In Touch that Sarah’s new ones could have had something to do with George Clooney breaking up with her ass.

A source said, “George really didn’t want her to get the boob job. She asked George if she could do her recovery at his house and he agreed.”

She probably should have realized things weren’t heading in the right direction when George said, “Don’t get fake titties, but do you mind having a dick installed instead?” Poor Sarah. So pretty, yet so dumb.

The source also said Sarah didn’t find out about the break-up until she read it in the media. That’s bullshit! Sarah can’t read!

Sarah isn’t letting a little break-up get her down. She’s moving on to bigger and better things, “She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she’s famous, she’d never go back to cocktailing.”

Oh, she’ll go back to “cocktailing” eventually. But now that she’s a famous ho, she can up her price!