Literally The Only Reason To Watch This Mess: Aaron Taylor-Johnson Will Be In “Fifty Shades Of Grey”

The studio executives at Universal must have finally realized that toning down all the fucking and sucking in the Fifty Shades of Grey movie leaves it with as much intense raw sexuality as a trip to Carpet Barn, because someone gave the go-ahead for director Sam Taylor-Wood to sex it up a bit by casting her husband and object of her cougar-y affection, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, in a last-minute role. Sam TaylorMade 3-Wood told Access Hollywood that she was able to find a way to get her hot 23-year-old husband, but wouldn’t say what role he was playing.

Someone needs to tell Sam Cougar-Would (Would she get her cougar-on with an 18-year-old? She would) that if she wants to put middle-aged mom butts in seats, she needs to be a little more explicit regarding just how much Aaron Taylor-Johnson there will be in Fifty Shades of Snooze. Will he be shirtless? Do we get to see his ass? What about Aaron Taylor’s johnson? Eh, it doesn’t even matter; she could promise a 60-second-long full-frontal HD close-up shot of his dick, and it still wouldn’t make it worth sitting through 2 hours of that trashy Twilight fanfic.

But until then (aka my dreams, because there’s no way in hell we’ll get to see his weenis) here’s Aaron Taylor-Johnson at the London premiere of Godzilla with his wife Sam Taylor-Wood, who always looks like an adult version of that Side Eyeing Chloe kid:

Pics: Splash