Charlie Sheen Has A New Goddess To Finger

Fun fact: it’s hard to pull on a full body condom sprayed on the inside with Raid and dusted with DDT, but when it comes to Charlie Sheenyou can’t be too careful.

Apparently, there’s still a living, breathing human being on the planet who didn’t get the memo about Charlie swan diving off the edge of sanity into a cracked-out abyss, because he has a new unidentified girlfriend according to The Daily Mail. They were seen kissing on a balcony in Cabo San Luis, which might be romantic if the Romeo in this case didn’t look like he oozes herpes pus and suffers from rampant halitosis, and Juliet wasn’t along for the free vacation and drugs. (“O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Black AmEx! “)

Charlie also tweeted about giving the world a face-load of “planet jealous” and if you’ll excuse me, I need to go stab myself in the temple with a rusty screwdriver to try and rid myself of the mental imagine of him giving a face-load of anything to anyone not wearing a biohazard mask.

Full pic of Charlie getting all handsy with the mystery chick’s vagina situation and looking like he’s this close to trying to paddle her pink canoe after the jump.

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