Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

Bubbling is a strange new trend of urinating directly into one’s mouth! Yes, you read that right. It is apparently already huge in Australia, and now it is happening in Hollywood with at least one male singer enjoying it.

He tells ladies that he is a human water fountain and surprisingly, it works. This guy gets more dates with celebrities than anyone else. When you think of guy singers who would do this, he is the first one that comes to mind!

Todd Carney, an Australian Rugby League footballer, apparently decided to give it a shot in the bathroom at a pub., but after THIS (NSFW) PICTURE went viral the team sacked him and dissolved his $3 million contract. (Naughty But Nice Rob)

John Mayer? Well, some say that piss can be used as an antiseptic, so at least he’s cleansing his mouth of the bullshit it spews.

Spiral Girl is subsisting on vodka and cocaine at this point. However, she still doesn’t think that her problem is that bad and refuses to go to rehab.

Her friends and family try to help, but she turns on them as soon as they mention the word “rehab.” Some of them walk away (e.g. the tall pop singer who was her BFF for a while), but some of them have been hanging in there (e.g. the shorter pop singer who used to work with her).

However, she may have just burned her last bridge. While Stretch left quietly, Shorty’s departure was noisy. Spiral and Shorty had an epic fight!

Here’s what happened: Shorty was genuinely trying to help. She wanted Spiral to go to residential rehab for at least a month. However, Spiral was having none of it. Their discussion quickly turned into a fight. And it wasn’t about one thing. It was about EVERYTHING: Families, drugs, alcohol, food, rehab, abortions, friendship, reputations. They even argued about which of them has the worst boyfriend. Pot. Kettle. Their discussion eventually ended in screaming and tears and both declaring the friendship over.

Don’t blame yourself, Shorty. You tried.

We will all have to simply wait until Spiral hits bottom. We just hope it’s embarrassing rather than tragic. (Blind Gossip)

Spiral, Shorty and Stretch sounds like the laziest chola names ever. I’ll guess:

Spiral: Selena Gomez?

Shorty: Demi Lovato?

Stretch: Taylor Swift?

Exhibit: A. But Stretch and Shorty should put themselves in Spiral’s vagina. If they were doing Justin Bieber, they too would be diving into a pool of coke and vodka to deal.

This B list talk show host had a falling out with her actress best friend because of an incident with the boyfriend of the actress and a hot tub and some nudity. (CDAN)

Chelsea Handler, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux? But I don’t see Jennifer Aniston breaking up with her tequila partner over Chelsea’s nipple attacking Justin Theroux in the hot tub.

This B- list mostly movie actress who had a recent awful foray into television so might go back to movies if she can get a job that does not involve her wearing a swim suit again is married. Her husband prefers guys though so it is no wonder she has been seeing a guy who is way more into her. (CDAN)

The only name my brain burped was Nicole Eggert’s name, but she’s not married and unless you count straight-to-the-Walmart-DVD-discount-bin as movies, I don’t think she’s a movie actress. I’ve got nothing.

The dad of this A list entertainer(singer) lost about $500K on a huge bet he made on the Belmont Stakes. Now his daughter had to cover the loss. It is becoming a habit, but she never says no. (CDAN)

Daddy Spears will be asking the court for a raise in 3..2..

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This B- list mostly movie actress said that she and her former A list mostly movie actor boyfriend who has been in the news a lot this week had a drug and booze filled orgy with a ton of people last weekend and feels they were both given some bad drugs. (CDAN)

Mia Goth and Shia LaBeouf? First of all, it must’ve been some kind of hippie orgy, because only the deodorant challenged would be okay with inhaling Shia’s pit musk while getting theirs. Second of all, nothing ruins an orgy like bad drugs. Actually, that’s not true. Projectile diarrhea will ruin an orgy real quick. So will the music changing to a Justin Bieber song. That will really ruin an orgy.

We’ve talked before about how some celebrities plan out publicity stunts in the hopes of keeping you interested in their lives… and keeping themselves in the headlines. Well, here’s a new one for you!

This manager of multiple celebrities is talking to several of the girls they manage to see if they can get one of them to do some acting in real life. The manager wants one of the girls to publicly pretend that she is bisexual!

Simply posing for paparazzi shots would look too obvious, so they would need to be sneakier about it. The girl would be matched up with another young female celebrity (actress, model, or celebrity offspring) to be secretly filmed/photographed intimately kissing each other. Depending on the age of the girls, there may also be partial nudity.

The story line would include the girl coming of age and exploring her sexuality, her confusion over what she is and who she wants to date, and how her friends and family react to the events.

So far, all of the candidates (who are heterosexual as far as we know) are balking. However, the manager has a long history of persuading clients to pull off all kinds of publicity stunts to keep them in the headlines, so we wouldn’t be at all surprised if this one happens. BONUS CLUE: Not Ireland Baldwin. (Blind Gossip)

Pimp Mama Kris, Kendull Jenner and Hailey Baldwin? Exhibit: A

Which famous fool has been hocking products for years misleading consumers that they will get thin if they use them, however the real secret to her amazing body is laxatives and liposuction at least once a year.

She has made millions off her products and if the truth was revealed it would destroy her career? (Naughty But Nice Rob)

It isn’t Kim Kartrashian, because she can’t take laxatives since she had her bowels and most of her other internal organs lipo’d out of her body a long time ago. It isn’t Jessica Simpson, because yeah, she’d probably lose her Weight Watchers contract, but I doubt it’d ruin her career as a shoe mogul. So I’ll guess Jillian Michaels, but then again, she is part lizard and I don’t think lizards get fat. (“Um, Donald Sterling, anyone?” – you “Good point.” – me)

This celebrity couple’s divorce appears to be incredibly civil on the outside. They’ve made lots of statements about how much they still love and respect each other and how co-parenting their child/ren is their first priority, etc.

Ha! Behind the scenes, it’s ugly!

They had an agreement about child sharing. She broke it. He told her that if she didn’t start giving him more time with the kid/s, he was going to start spilling details about her behavior (promiscuity, gold-digging, lying) to the press. She told him that if he didn’t back off that she was going to start spilling details about his behavior (affairs, substance abuse).

Yes, they are the ones who are now leaking things to the press to try to make the other look like a bad person and a bad parent! Pretty people, ugly behavior (not to mention bad role models for the child/ren). (Blind Gossip)

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom? 

This foreign born A list mostly movie actor has been in this space a few times in the past week. He holds himself out to be this happily married man, but for the second time in a week he was spotted with a woman who is not his wife. He should just get divorced because he is not being very shy about his infidelities and it is going to be ugly. (CDAN)

Gary Oldman? But can he hold off the divorce for a while, because I haven’t digested the last Sirius controversy yet.

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This famous and prolific Director is responsible for several of the biggest movies of all time. Want to hear an interesting casting story about one of them?

One of his first big hits was Film 1. He cast Actress 1 in a human role, and the movie went on to become a huge hit.

When the time came to cast Film 2 (not related to Film 1), Director told Actress 1 that he wanted her for this role as well. He told her that he wanted to mentor her and help her become a huge star, and that Film 2 was going be the movie that would make that happen.

Actress 1 was absolutely thrilled that this esteemed and successful director wanted to nurture her career! She thanked him and gladly accepted the role.

A day or two later – prior to her signing the contract – the director phoned her at home and asked her to meet with him to discuss some details.

When she arrived at his office, he asked Actress 1 if she was still excited about becoming a big star. “Yes!” she replied.

“Good. Now get down on your knees and give me a blow job.”

The stunned actress refused.

The Director threw a fit. He threatened her. He told her that if she didn’t comply that he was going to give the lead role to someone else and that he would make sure that she never became a big star. She still refused.

The Director kept his promise. He replaced Actress 1 with Actress 2. Film 2 went on to become a blockbuster. Actress 1 went on to a successful career as a working actress… but she never became a big star. (Blind Gossip)

That blind item reeks of Michael Bay, which smells like AXE nutsack balm, Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil, burnt out sparklers and dried cum infused with dried piña colada lube. I don’t think this is Michael Bay and Megan Fox since she was in two Transformers movies and he hasn’t had any blockbuster hits since he started terrorizing the world with Transformers movie after Transformers movie. Maybe Michael Bay for the director, Tea Leoni (Bad Boys) for actress 1 and Liv Tyler (Armageddon) for actress 2?

Oh whatever, I’ll leave Michael Bay alone.

I’ll guess this is Steven Spielberg and E.T. After E.T. refused to suck dick for roles, Steven gave the female lead in Indiana Jones to Kate Capshaw instead. Yes, E.T.’s a chick. She just played a dude in the movie.

For the first time that I can remember, this A list daytime star showed off her girlfriend in public. At the Daytime Emmys no less. Our actress has been so deep in the closet for decades. (CDAN)

Deidre Hall? If it is Deidre Hall, I wish her girlfriend was Susan Flannery from The Bold and the Beautiful and Days Of Our Lives, because they’d be the soap opera power lesbian couple of my dreams.

This former A list mostly movie actor who I still can’t believe was ever A list and has since turned into a child star gone awry likes to surround himself with lots of women he buys for the night. Several of those women say that the actor loves to dress up in their clothes and likes to be called a woman’s name when they are at his house. (CDAN)

Corey Feldman? 

This superstar film actor hired an assistant a while back. The assistant was young, male, and openly gay.

There are several reasons why this was an interesting choice. The most notable is the fact that the actor has had to constantly fight rumors throughout his career that he is gay.

The assistant found it awkward to work with the actor, too. Why? Because the actor was absolutely fascinated with the assistant’s gay lifestyle! It was impossible for them to have a conversation without the actor quizzing the assistant about it: What exactly do you do? What’s it like? How does it work? How does it feel?

The assistant didn’t know if the actor was straight or in the closet, nosy or just curious. He just knew that it was awkward. He didn’t stay with the actor for long. When he finally gave notice, the actor hugged him and cried. Kind of sweet… but kind of odd, too. (Blind Gossip)

It’s not John Travolta. John Travolta can give a young gay a master class in gayness. I’ll guess Tom Cruise? I can picture Tommy Girl sitting cross-legged on the edge of the couch asking his assistant to feed him as much gayness as possible. Tommy takes it all in like a little sister listening to her big sister’s first date. Then Tommy asks, “But you gays don’t like ice cream, right?”

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

The married couple most likely to end in divorce after a brief marriage is this B list talk show host from a national daytime show. Big fights with her spouse on an almost daily basis since they got married. (CDAN)

Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry? All of their fights are probably about hair products and jeans. This is why a marriage between two hos who wear the same exact size black skinny jean and use the same kind of pomade that makes their hair look like a spaniel that rolled around in Crisco NEVER works. If their marriage ever gets to the splittin’ point, I wonder if Linda will tell Sara it’s over by singing, “And I say haaaaaay yaaaaaaay yay yay ay, haaaaaaay yaaaay yay, I said hey, I want a divorce.“

This actress is sweet and pretty on the outside… but obnoxious and ugly on the inside!

She was on vacation a few years ago at a tropical resort. At the time, she had already starred in a several films (none of which were huge hits), but had not yet been nominated for/won any major awards.

This posh resort has seen its share of movie stars, rock stars, business moguls, and royalty. However, our actress goes down in history as “The Most Obnoxious Guest Ever.” Here ‘s why:

Although the resort’s private beach club was only open to members and guests, she constantly referred to them as “the public,” as in “I want the public cleared from the beach club before I enter!”

The path to the beach club runs through a golf course. She demanded that the golf course be closed down during the time she would be walking between the hotel and the beach club.

She demanded that parts of the hotel’s main walkways be barricaded off so no one but she and her entourage could pass through.

There were several restaurants on the property. She demanded that whatever restaurant she chose for her meal be closed to other members and guests.

She demanded that a server and a server assistant to be available to her 24 hours a day throughout the duration of her stay.

Employees were not allowed to speak to her or look at her directly.

She never smiled or thanked anyone during her entire stay. She also did not tip anyone for anything.

Perhaps this monstrous attitude explains why she is actually the prefect match to her current boyfriend? (Blind Gossip)

Charlize Theron? Little by little, these blind items and images of her holding hands with that split-open microwaved hot dog Sean Penn are chipping away at my like for her.

This very famous TV star was at the theater the other night with an attractive blonde. They were holding hands and leaning in to one another and whispering and giggling together. Before kissing, he glanced around nervously to see if anyone was watching.

Why should he care if anyone saw him kissing an attractive blonde? Because the woman was definitely NOT his wife!

This is a guy who LOVES to use his wife and child/ren for interviews and photo ops and pretend that he is such a devoted family man! The truth is that he spends very little time with them. Late at night he is much more likely to be out with another woman than home in bed with his wife. Either he has an open marriage… or he is simply a chronic cheater. (Blind Gossip)

I’m taking the “LOVES” as a clue and guessing Ray Romano from Everybody Loves Raymond? Or maybe this is about angry fart bag Alec Baldwin who finally got sick of staying at home and watching his fame whore wife do yoga poses on all the furniture.

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

Two women at different stages of their career, both were recently promoting books, both behaved like assholes.

She was the young blush of her time, muse to an icon, dream girl to a generation. So it wasn’t a surprise when over 200 people showed up to a book signing.

Here’s what *should* happen at a book signing: you stay and sign books. Many bestselling authors stay as long as they can, for hours, making sure they have a personal interaction with each and every reader, often posing for photos. Even Gwyneth Paltrow understands this. Sometimes it’s impossible. Like JK Rowling often has 3 or 4 thousand people showing up so what she’ll do is she’ll sign hundreds of boxes in advance and on the day of, she’ll commit to a couple of hours, sometimes more, to hang out with as many of her fans as possible.

But this woman? When this woman saw that 200 people were waiting for her, she scowled. Then exhaled, loudly.

“I have to sign for all of them?”

Well, um, as many as you can…?

“But I have dinner reservations.”

She signed for just 20 people. Then made her reservation while the others were left out, cold.

And what about Miss All Kinds Of Sweet and Sad? She fronts like an angel, like she could never possibly throw attitude ever, but we’ve all heard the stories from the set – how she rages around like she lives exclusively on the top tier and everyone else is her chorus.

At several signings in multiple cities, the behaviour was the same. Upon arrival, she barked orders to her staff and bookstore staff about what exactly she would tolerate: hustle people through the line, cut them off when they want to talk, push them through as quickly as possible, and “spare me from all of their fucking sob stories”. In other words, these people are beneath me but you lowlifes are going to take the fall because even though they mean nothing, I still want them to love me and give me their money.

And so, with a fake smile on her face, giving the performance of her life, she’d greet her public kindly, while her people practically threw her fans up towards the signing table, several at a time, tossing them together like abused animals, crunching them close, a speed meet-and-greet on crack. How fast was it really?

At one stop she got through 250 people in half an hour. This, apparently was too slow for her so she gave shit to her handlers and at the next stop, what an accomplishment – 350 people in just over 20 minutes.

20 minutes! 350 people!

Can you imagine how that must have moved? How they would have been treated?

And then she was out. While fans were still coming in with their wristbands, bewildered that it was over already. (Lainey Gossip)

I spent way too much time going through all the new-ish memoirs that are out and after conducting my super important research project, I’m going to guess that the first mess is Diane Keaton and the second mess is Lea Michele? Diane Keaton has never really given half a fuck (see: every outfit she’s ever worn), so this isn’t surprising. And as for Lea, she’s about as annoying as a soft dick that won’t get hard, but I have to give it to her for signing like a meth head and going through 350 people in 20 minutes. I don’t even think Parasite Hilton has gone through 350 dudes in 20 minutes and that’s saying a lot.

This permanent A+ list mostly movie actor is trying to kill a book that is written by an actress. The actress claims in her book that the actor regularly had sex with her when she was just 13 and 14 and that another current A list mostly movie actress was also the same age when the actor had sex with her too. (CDAN)

I don’t have one clue, but who ever it is, I’m sure Lady CaCa will work with him in the future.

This foreign born former A list mostly movie actor is about to be outed as the actor who has been sued in the past for knowingly spreading an STD. This will be a heart breaker for many. (CDAN)

Benedict Cumberbatch?! How dare you spread your lizard warts to the innocent!

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

When this B list celebrity is not having sex with his groupies he is doing his best to get his A list reality star girlfriend pregnant. He wants to ride the money train. She thinks it is love and is doing her best to get pregnant too. (CDAN)

Khlozilla and French Montana? No wonder animal control in Calabasas has seen a huge increase in calls from terrified neighbors who in the middle of the night hear what sounds like two wild boars attacking each other. It’s just Khloe Kardashian and French Montana trying to spawn and yes, that’s our cue to pack up and move to the highest point on the tallest mountain. Because when their baby is born, it will devour us all. We’re doomed.

This relationship started out with the best of intentions. Two good-looking and successful people – both at the top of their game – fell in love and got engaged.

Of course there was the obligatory giant diamond ring (which he helped to design), the open displays of admiration for each other, and declarations of happiness all around when the engagement was announced.

Sweet, right?

Oh, hell no!

He was so used to women flocking to him that he just couldn’t seem to settle into only having one woman. In the past six months alone, he has cheated on her at least twice… and both of the women that we know about are famous!

Mistress 1 is probably the most famous person in this story. She was working on a project with Fiance, and there were some whispers that the two of them had gotten close. Our Bride-to-be initially dismissed the rumors as gossip, but later found out that the rumors were all true. Bride was furious… but her Fiance managed to convince her that it was nothing more than a few casual hookups and that it was totally over.

Groom-to-be and Mistress 2 worked on a project together a few years ago. Nothing happened then, but as soon as Groom got engaged, Mistress 2 was suddenly all over him! This was no one-night stand either. It was an honest-to-goodness full-blown affair. Bride has no clue about Mistress 2, and you know that there is zero chance that Groom will voluntarily tell her about it. So we will. (Blind Gossip)

George Clooney, Amal Alamuddin,  Sandra Bullock for Mistress #1 and for Mistress #2 I’ll guess The Goat from The Men Who Stare At Goats. That goat looks like a needy, shameless, home wrecking slut skank.

This A list singer generally turns a blind eye to the infidelities of her celebrity husband but now he has got someone pregnant and our A lister is having to scramble to make sure everything is kept quiet. She is footing the bill for the other woman’s medical bills and future child support and other cash, but wants to keep everything quiet because she doesn’t want to have it be public knowledge her husband cheated. (CDAN)

Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton? Or Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale? Or Mimi and Nick Cannon? Or LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian?  Actually, scratch out LeAnn. The blind item says “A list singer” not “grade A fame whore and C list casino lounge chanteuse.”

This former NBC A lister from a hit show that is no longer on the air was considered a ladies man on the show. This month he is finally planning on coming out. Good for him. (CDAN)

Matt LeBlanc? Matt LeBlanc had a lukewarm GAY non-SCANDAL a few years ago, but my Gaydar never pinged for his ass. So I’ll use my “wishful thinking” muscle and guess that this is Don Johnson?