Open Post: Hosted By A Beary Scary Wake Up Call

I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty rude awakenings in my time — car alarms, earthquakes, a dick pressed up against my ass, a cat slapping me across the face with the claws extended, and the like. But never have I ever been awakened from a pool-side nap by a fucking bear tickling my feet as recently happened to Massachusetts man named Matt Bete, according to People. And I’m talking about an actual bear of the ursine variety because I’m sure it’s happened before to plenty of people at the annual Lazy Bear Week in Guerneville, California.

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