Trina Is Mad

Right after taking the stage at a party, Trina, the self-proclaimed “baddest bitch,” went off on prolific poet Khia. Trina told the audience how she really felt about Khia claiming that she’s the true HBIC of the 305.

Coincidentally, this is pretty much the same speech Ivana Trump gave to the screaming kids on her flight.

via Hip Hop Wired

Our New Spelling Bee Champion!

13-year-old Kavya Shivashankar of Olathe, Kansas beat out 11 finalists for the title of the greatest speller who ever spelled (under the age 14) at the Scripps National Spelling Bee last night. Kavya won $40,000 in cash and prizes as well as a giant trophy/fruit bowl/dust collector. This was Kavya’s fourth time at the bee and it will also be her last, because of her age.

The word that won it for Kavya was laodicean. Fun fact for a Friday: laodicean is how Paula Abdul spells Lidocaine when scribbling an order to her back alley pharmacist because her mouth is too numb to speak.

Watching the spelling bee is always entertaining. Especially if you partake in a little audience participation. I like to rev up the bong, sip on a little Franzia on ice and compete right along with these tiny geniuses. Last night, I didn’t get one word right. That’s really not a surprise to anyone who reads this blog. I mean, I traded my Speak & Spell for a She-Ra doll when I was little. There you go.

But I didn’t even come close last night. I even tried all the tricks! I wrote the word down on my arm with an air pen. I cupped my hands over my mouth and slowly sounded out the word. Even when they flashed the word on the screen, I still couldn’t spell it! Does Sylvan Learning Center host a nightly happy hour?

Anyspellingishard, congratulations to Kavya! She is not only a spelling genius, but she is also connoisseur of French cheeses!

Khia On Diddy

This blog entry from the most prolific blogger on the interwebs is over a week old, but it’s been a while since I’ve posted her words of wisdom, so I felt it was about time to catch up.

In one of her posts from October 28th, Queen Khia eloquently writes about Diddy’s possible homoness and his choice to feature his twinsies naked in L’uomo Vogue.

Khia is truly a poet, but you might want to massage your eyeballs and gulp down another cup of coffee before you start getting into it. Every time I read something from Khia, one of my eyeballs quits this bitch and goes lazy.

P-Diddy what the hell is really going on???? Where the hell is Kim Porter and your Lil Kim looking ass MAMMIE???

I know Janice Combs didn’t appove this shit here!!!!!!!! Now….The Hood already knew that you had a little SUGA in your TANK and that you FUCKED FARNSWORTH and that’s why you never married Kim and you STOLE Danity Kane’s Money…. But a PEDIFILE?????? You gotta clear this one up for me Diddy!!!!!! Why is the HOOD calling you a PEDIFILE????? Is it because you really got a THANG for BOYS?????? Or is because you have pictures of you and your little girls butt-ass naked with Chippendale Bow-ties around their small ass NECKS??? This look like some Michael Jackson bullshit…

Is this what money make you do??? Exploit your own children??? Supa Throat said Dat…
I know Kim didn’t approve this!!!!! Aint no amount of money in the WORLD that will make me EXPLOIT my own children!!!!! You shoulda called The Queen for advice on this one!!!! Somebody in your CAMP shoulda told you… That’s not a good look!. So since they slippin……. I‘m here to tell ya!!!!!!!!! Nigga you aint shit!!!!!!!! Nasty, Freaky, Tired Son Of A Bitch….. Take them pictures down and call and stop all the press and print publications IMMEDIATELY…… You look like Heffner the ultimate P-I-M-P and the babies are “The Girls Next Door”!!!!!!!! NO DEAL!!!!! What are you promoting?????? Baby PORN????? And since we talkin bout HEFF…..HEFF… When is you gonna have a Nappy-Headed whore on the cover of Playboy Magazine???????? White Boys love CHOCOLATE too….. Call the Queen!!!!!! Heyyyyy Datwon Thomas……I got your call……. Im still waiting on you….. Imma be nice… I promise!!! LMAO!!!!!!! But that shit aint even FUNNY!!! Diddy…. While you talkin bout Aubrey being in a cold and lonely place…. Bitch, You can’t FIRE ME…….. You gone be in a COLD, DARK and LONELY Place when SHINE comes HOME…… Spring ‘09!!!! Yessssssssss!!!

I just have one thing to say: when is this bitch going to be on “The View“?! Because her view is cracked out and needs to be heard! And I have no idea what a “pedifile” is, but it sounds like something I can get at Sally Beauty Supply.

Thanks Jess

A Shot At Love: Bo Gets It In The Face

Finally! “A Shot at Hep with Tila Tequila” had its first major, major fight of the season last night. It wasn’t really a fight, it was more like one dude getting the shit knocked out of him by another.

It all started when Chad and Bo started going at it for one reason or another. Chad was probably mad because Bo drank the last Smirnoff Ice. It doesn’t matter, but it ended with Chad headbutting Bo and then punching him square in the face. Awesome! I don’t normally condone violence (yeah, I’m lying), but I do love seeing two moronic tools go at it. Chad just showed me right then and there that he had a small dick. Douches with small dicks always have something to prove.

Chad was quickly kicked out of the house and Bo was taken to the hospital. Chad really fucked Bo up. He had a split lip and split teeth. He looked like he just finished eating out Tila Tequila. That chocha is toxic and deadly.

Bo was later released from the hospital and he returned to the house and the game. Now it’s the lesbians turn to fight! Those hot lezzies will show the dudes how it’s really done.

A Shot At Hep Is Back!

The above screen shot perfectly sums up the entire season 2 premiere of Tila Tequila’s A Shot At Love. It’s Tila sticking a flower (given to her by another dude) in the crack of one of her suitors. Who said romance is dead?

If you weren’t wearing protection while watching last night’s episode on MTV, you better go to the doctor this afternoon. I lost track on the number of people Tila made out with. That would make a fun drinking game! Two of the lesbians on the show even started making out with each other. They were later eliminated, because they weren’t “respecting” Tila in her own house. First of all, Tila already disrespected herself by going on this show and second, that house isn’t hers!

I still watch this trash, because I live for skankiness and cat fights. The first cat fight almost happened when two douche bags got into it. Jay from New Jersey (above with the flower in his ass) threatened to “head butt” Bo from Ohio. Sadly, he didn’t do it. All talk and no head butt. The two dudes are still around, so hopefully they will get into it later on.

Below is a clip of the dudes giving Tila a “fashion show.” Take your Valtrex before watching it. One of the dude even shows Tila his “dick in a box.” She acts like she’s grossed out. Slut please!

One of my favorite dudes, Chad, gave the quote of the evening:

“Chicks love wang bone. Why do you think they have strap-ons and things in that nature, to simulate wang bones, which i come stocked with.”

Yeah, he’s a keeper. This season is going to be so hot.

Khia Is The Most “Beautifulest” Thing In The World

Is “Miss Rap Supreme” even worth watching anymore? The hell?! Khia was disqualified during yesterday’s episode for not doing an original rap during the elimination round. This hot bitch barely got any small-screen time.

Khia took to her MySpace to blast the judges and contestants. I have no idea what the hell she’s writing about, but I agree with her.

First of all, there was nothing but a bunch of crack heads, whores and undercover bull-daggers in the house! Much love to Nicky2States and Rese Steele, the only two real bitches in the house and Byata… Byata was cool!!! Now, back to what I a was saying…… How in the hell is two clown muthafuckas gone judge me, when I out sold them? Just tell me that!!! I out sold and out shined everybody in the house including the judges….. That’s why they were hating!!! Serch hating ass….. Talking about obscurity and oblivion… He must have been talking about himself!!!! Because no one remembers the gas face and I am sure everyone remembers my MEGA HIT… MY Neck, My Back…. There’s not many artist, male or female that’s had a MEGA hit! They’re still fishing for it and I caught my fish the first throw!!!!!! Salmon….Pleeeeeeease!

Cheating… No B-I-T-C-H!!!! Checkmate!!! Yessssss!!! Yall bitches still don’t get it????? Is that the short bus I hear blowing outside???? PROMOTION….. Full promotion of my shit!!! VH1 put my face in millions of homes!!! I used VH1 to promote myself and my music!!! What part of that don’t you people understand? That was my plan from the beginning, not cheating but winning(stupid muthafuckas) The joke is on yall….. AGAIN!!!!!!!! I never intended on following the rules… Neva have…..I make the rules…… I am the boss….. My mission….. Accomplished!!!!!!!!!!! Yall bitches is so DELAYED!!!!! PROMOTION!!! !!!!!!! That’s why I was on the show!!!

The excessive use of exclamation points should get this chick some sort of award. I can hear her screaming through the entire post. She takes a few breaks to spray some Chloraseptic on her fingers and she keeps going.

Khia was also asked by Vh1 blog about being a one-hit wonder, she said, “If I had a Britney machine or a Rihanna machine, I woulda been the beautifulest thing in the world, too.”

Beautifulest! Damn, this bitch is a poet in every way.