Hot Sluts Of The Day!

The gay penguins who got married in China! – Two gay penguins in China were getting shade from the zookeepers because they kept stealing the abandoned eggs of female penguins at Polarland Zoo in China. The zookeepers finally said “fuck it” and let the gayguins raise the eggs. The two peenguins have done such a swell job that the zookeepers have awarded them with a big gay wedding. One wore a red blouse (the bottom) and one wore a bow tie (the top). They celebrated with a big plate of fish. Yeah, that fish shit threw me off too.

Congrats to these two precious gayguins! Homo love is everywhere and it’s fucking beautiful!

Source

For SG

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Rob, the crying Giants fan – After a football team called the Giants beat another team called the Redskins (these names mean nothing to me), Rob reacted the same way I did when Rojo Caliente did not win Hot Slut of the Year. I’m joking! Spaghetti Cat is my everything. Anyway, the dude at the end of the video also gets an honorary hot slut award for telling this bitch to shut the hell up about it. And the dumbslutwhorebitchskank known as Bijou Phillips has some words of advice for Rob: “Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a fucking pansy.”

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Hanker For A Hunk O Cheese! – This was a PSA back in the day urging kids to eat nutritious and delicious cheese. Mmm….cheese (sans the dick). But you know this Hanker bitch is permanently constipated. That’s why he growls like that!

For Dollyface

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Aramis Fuster – This is some I Dream of Jeannie gone wrong. Speaking of magic, Aramis claims to be the world’s only true witch. Apparently, she hasn’t learned the right spell to fix those loose threads on her elegant blouse. That shit bothers me! So, Aramis is a Spanish TV star and master spell caster. She says she was born in 1320 which would make her around 688 years old. That looks about right, right?

Back in March, Aramis said she had an affair with James Hewitt. She says they had beautiful tantric sex in the back of a Landcruiser. Aramis also can have sex with someone who is in another room or country with the help of a “magic mirror.” She calls it a “magic mirror,” we call it a webcam.

And she says she can cure cancer and AIDS! But unfortunately she can’t cure a disorder she herself suffers from called FUGFACE. I kid. Aramis is truly the answer to all the world’s problems.

By the way, her real name is Maria Antonia Perez Sanchez and according to records she’s 53-years-old.

(For Madam S.)

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Stains from It’s Me or the Dog – On The Soup last night, they made the crazy-eyed Stains a STAR! I would do the same shit with my eyes if someone put a plate of delicious cupcakes in front of me and told me not to eat them. Seriously, I think Stains was using his eyes powers to kill all the hos in the room so that he could be alone with that big plate of heaven. Or maybe he was devouring that shit with his eyes.

This is living thing abuse!!!! You don’t big a plate of cupcakes in front of a bitch and tell them not to eat one. Cruel! Clip below:

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Ornella Muti – Princess Aura in the 80s beautiful mess known as Flash Gordon. We should also bow our heads in honor of her beautiful eyebrows in that shit show:

For whippersnapper