Hot Slut Of The Day!

Tammie Brown from RuPaul’s Drag Race – If La Pequena and Bette Davis had a secret bastard love child, it would be Tammie Brown! It was love at first eyebrows. I’ll admit that the bitch kind of scares me. I can imagine waking up in the middle of the night with Tammie Brown standing over me in a white chiffon nightgown and a kitchen knife in one hand. That’s the smile of a serial killer.

Below is a clip of Tammie Brown’s photo shoot from last night’s episode. Bitch looks like a special needs chihuahua trying to get a drink of wawa! And notice her eyebrows as a boy. That is some extreme eyebrow makeover shit!

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Matilda the Beagle! – The MVP from yesterday’s Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. That shit was best watched after smoking another kind of bowl.

Update: I FUCKED UP. Matilda was the MVP and not Maddie. Apologies to them both. I’ve already slapped myself. Unfortunately, I had to rip the Hot Slut of the Day trophy from Maddie’s mouth and give it to Matilda. That’s cold.

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Chi-Chi’s Microwaveable taco (or burrito) meat! – First of all, this shit is called Chi-Chi’s. That’s an automatic win. Second of all, the whole shit is microwave ready. You don’t even to have stress yourself out by scooping the meat into a bowl and then into the microwave. It’s ready! Third of all, it’s fucking packaged meat. Fourth of all, it’s called Chi-Chis. Yes, it might give you mud butt, but that’s a small price to pay when you’re a lazy fucking bitch like myself.

For cherry.blossoms

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Bacon Man! – Why hello there everyone! I’d like to introduce you to my future husband. He’s everything you could want in a husband. He won’t talk back and he’s made out of bacon! The last quality seals the fucking deal. Bacon Man was created by a woman named NetDiva. Visit this site to make your very own. You’ll need bacon, wooden sticks and a lot of fucking booze. Actually, you’ll probably need to get wasted beforehand, because that’s the only way you’ll make this shit.

Bacon Man is almost complete. He’s only missing a bacon peen. And no, I wouldn’t fuck Bacon Man. Or would I? I wouldn’t! Or would I? I wouldn’t! Okay, I’d only let him give me a grease facial, but that’s it!

Thanks Pluto

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Johanna Sigurdardottir – The world’s first openly gayelle prime minister! Go put on some flannel and fucking celebrate!

Iceland is expected to name 66-year-old labia licker Johanna as their new fearless leader. Johanna is a former flight attendant who worked her way up the political ladder.

I hope they name Bjork as the assistant prime minister or whatever the hell they call the second in charge. Leave me alone, I’m American!

And is it just me or do you really want to see Johanna say, “You are the weeeeeakest link“?

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For Eun-Ja

Hot Slut Of The Day!

Billy the Elephant! – Billy is the only elephant at the sad L.A. Zoo. There has been a fight about what to do with him. The zoo is planning to build a $42 million elephant exhibit. Bob Barker thinks the zoo should quit the project and he offered up $1.5 million of his own cash to move Billy to a sanctuary in Northern California. Lily Tomlin, Cher, Kevin Nealon, Goldie Hawn, Halle Berry and Tippi Hedren all joined Bob’s army to free Billy! Betty White and Slash were on the other side. They think Billy should stay in L.A. The City Council sided with Team Slash and Betty White. Billy will stay in L.A. and the elephant exhibit will get built.

Personally, I think Billy wants a change of scenery and is ready to head up north. They have In-N-Out up there and that’s all Billy really needs (cheese only, of course).

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