Put Out An APB For Fudgie The Whale

Even though these pictures of egg barf all over White Oprah’s front door conjured up memories of me scrubbing yolk off of the side of my mom’s house after my junior high school enemies egged our shit, I still laughed. Well, it’s funny picturing White Oprah opening her front door and trying to figure out if that yellow shit came from her (too many lemon drop martinis) or a Lohan hater who put their recalled eggs to good use.

White Oprah told TMZ that not only did someone egg her door, but they also launched dirt bombs at her house and pulled her mailbox out of the ground. As the Great Delusional One grabbed at her chest and said she has no idea who would ever do this to her family, a wave of guilty looks spread across the country (I’m looking at you, Fudgie, Cookiepuss, Michael Lohan, Snooki, Judge Marsha, mirror and anybody else who isn’t allergic to egg shells).

But White Oprah had the last phlegmy laugh when she splashed some Worcester sauce over the door yolk and licked it up. Her hangover was cured in a quick minute. So HAHAHAHA on whoever did this! White Oprah always gets the game point.

And here’s White Oprah’s main ho shopping for shoes to add to her hoarder pile yesterday afternoon.