Night Crumbs
Because of production delays and the writers’ strike, Disney has pushed back the release date of several movies and sequels, including ten million more Avatar movies. Okay, there are three more. Avatar 3 has been pushed to December 2025. Avatar 4 is coming out in December 2029, and Avatar 5 won’t see the light of a movie theater (if movie theaters exist then) until December 2031. If you asked me this morning, what I was having for dinner, I’d say, “Bitch, I can’t plan that far ahead!” So I definitely haven’t thought about 2031! But you know time flies. And since each Avatar movie is eons-long, if you start watching the first and second one now, the fifth will be out by the time you’re done! – The A.V. Club
A year after Johnny Depp’s train wreck defamation trial against Amber Heard stunk up the internet and ended with him mostly winning, she has paid the $1 million settlement she owes him. Johnny is planning to give the money to charity, and no, not The Johnny Depp Halfway House for Wayward Scarves – Just Jared
Since we’re living in a time where we’re discovering all sorts of sex stuff about Summer from The O.C., Rachel Bilson has followed up her admission that she didn’t have a dick-induced orgasm until her 30s by saying that she’s also never faked an O – Lainey Gossip
The definition of twee’s favorite poster child, Zooey Deschanel, fully embraces being a certified tweehead, and you couldn’t stop her from twee-ing even if you forced her to enter a twee-ment center for her twee obsession – Celebitchy
None of us need to be re-traumatized from witnessing Bambi’s mom get murdered, but Disney thinks we do. They’re working on a “live-action” (aka all-CGI) Bambi movie, and they’re talking to Sarah Polley about directing it – Deadline
Over seven years ago, brains everywhere burped up a cloud of question marks when it was announced that Joseph Fiennes (yes, THAT Joseph Fiennes) was playing Michael Jackson (yes, THAT Michael Jackson) in the episode of a T.V. series that never aired. The episode was about the urban legend that MJ, Elizabeth Taylor (played by Stockard Channing), and Marlon Brando (played by Brian Cox) rented a car to escape NYC after the 9/11 attacks. Well, it only took a few years, but Joseph Fiennes has now realized he made a mistake in accepting that role. And okay, but can they please release a cut of that episode with just Stockard Channing’s parts, because that, I need to see – HuffPo
Vanity Fair released a long-ass exposé on the War of the Rosé between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt over their pink wine vineyard Chateau Miraval. And honestly, that article should come with a case of rosé because I will need a few bottles to get through it. Or maybe I’ll just wait until Ryan Murphy turns it into a season of Feud – Vanity Fair
Pic: Disney