Night Crumbs

February 27, 2023 / Posted by:

Jenny McCarthy probably spent her Sunday furiously fapping to Woody Harrelson’s Saturday Night Live monologue over and over again. Because Woody hosted SNL this weekend, and during his opening, he pushed an anti-vax conspiracy theory. Woody said that he read a movie script where the “biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy up all the media and all the politicians and force all the people in the world to stay locked in their homes. And people can only come out if they take the cartel’s drugs and keep taking them over and over.” Woody then burped up, “I threw the script away. I mean, who was going to believe that crazy idea? Being forced to do drugs? I do that voluntarily all day long.” Woody has pushed anti-vax shit before, so this is nothing new for him. But that anti-vax mess aside, Woody’s entire SNL monologue was an incoherent train wreck. I almost texted his monologue to my friends and family with the question, “Is this what I sound like when I’m totally baked?” but I really don’t want to know the truth. I’m never stoned enough for that! – The Daily Beast

God might be slipping a card for a vasectomy doctor under Nick Cannon’s door because he recently said that God “will decide” when he’s done with making more children – Complex

The third season trailer for Ted Lasso doesn’t really give us anything except for an extremely important appearance by Trent Crimm, The IndependentPajiba

Well, well, well, it looks like Satan’s favorite theater kid, James Corden, is using his final Late Late Show episode to truly spread torturous evil. Because his last episode features him singing Hakuna Matata with Tom Cruise. I’m already screaming, MERCY! – Lainey Gossip

Panty Creamer of the Day: Michael B. Jordan for Calvin Klein Chonies – The Hollywood Reporter

Meanwhile, Rooney Mara brought her goth moodiness to the SAG Awards, and from the neck up, she looked like a sad Alfalfa from The Little Rascals who is sad because someone cut off his cowlick – Celebitchy

This is your future, Brangelina: Even though Brian Austin Green and Vanessa Marcil’s son is 20 years old now, they’re still fighting over how he was raised. And BAG dragged Vanessa Marcil for acting like she’s still in high school while acting like he’s still in high school – People

Pic: NBC/YouTube

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