Night Crumbs

February 1, 2023 / Posted by:

Dave Bautista seems to be running into the same “problem” that his fellow wrestler-turned-movie star, The Rock, runs into, and that’s nobody really buys him as a romantic lead unless he’s romancing a particularly sexy-looking bench press. But Dave Bautista would love it if a co-star snuggled up to his dome wrinkles in a rom-com. And he recently wondered why he has never been offered the lead in a rom-com, asking, “Am I that unattractive? Is there something that unappealing about me that excludes me from these parts?” Hollywood should put Dave in a damn rom-com. I mean, Tom Cruise gets cast as the romantic lead opposite a human, and we all know his parts only throb for E-meter cans and jumping out of planes. So put Dave in a rom-com, specifically, a love triangle rom-com co-starring The Rock and a particularly sexy-looking bench press – Variety

Since Ozzy Osbourne is 75 years old, and his health has been in a bad way for a bit, he has quit touring but said that his team is looking for ways that he “will be able to perform without having to travel from city to city.” So it looks like soon you’ll be able to digest that $9.99 Las Vegas surf and turf – Wait, sorry, I forgot about inflation. Let me start again. So it looks like soon you’ll be able to digest that $199.99 Las Vegas surf and turf dinner while watching Ozzy Osbourne pretend to bite on a rhinestone-encrusted prop bat during his Vegas residency – SOW

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame robbed Stacey Q of a nomination AGAIN, but this year’s nominees include Cyndi Lauper, Missy Elliott, Willie Nelson, Kate Bush, George Michael, Sheryl Crow, Rage Against The Machine, and Joy Division/New OrderBillboard

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos’ daughter is living with them again, and she doesn’t knock when going into their bedroom, so they’ve let her know it’s “freaky week.” We get it, Kelly and Mark; you two fuck a lot. But there’s an easy solutation to their problem. It’s called “locking your door,” but if they really want to keep their daughter out, they should just tape a close-up picture of Kelly’s legendary belly button peen on their door – Celebitchy

After canceling Dexter: New Blood, Showtime may try to make Young Dexter happen – Pajiba

Ticketmaster better invest in a whole lot of calamine lotion because Beyonce announced that her Renaissance world tour is starting up this year. And you know the crazed Beyhive is going to sting Ticketmasters’ ass up if they fuck up again – Bossip

Dr. Phil’s daytime hour of evil is finally over after 21 seasons. But just when I was about to say, “Maybe 2023 isn’t starting out that bad,” I read this terrifying threat in the article: he plans on announcing a “strategic primetime partnership” that will allow him “increase his impact on television and viewers.” – The A.V. Club

Pic: INSTARImages

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