Night Crumbs
During the trailer for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, we got a big heaping panty pudding-inducing eyeful of the glorious bulge on Tenoch Huerta, who plays Namor. But man bulge aficionados noticed that in the final cut of the movie that plays in theaters, it looks like those prude ass tricks at Marvel de-bulged Namor. You know, because in the MCU, man bulges get flattened while lady titties get plumped up. Apparently, Marvel shrunk Namor’s dick area to keep the movie “family friendly.” And Tenoch Huerta confirms that the real him is the one on the left. Wakanda Forever has made over $675 million worldwide, but honestly, I’m surprised that the movie isn’t deep in the red from angry people demanding a refund over the disgusting de-bulging of Namor! The only way Marvel can fix this is to release the uncut BULGE version in IMAX 3D Smell-O-vision. IMPORTANT BULGE UPDATE: People cleared things up and reported that Tenoch says the one on the right is the real him, so he was bulged up in the trailer. We’re really going to need a ten-part docuseries about this bulge mystery! – Men’s Health
You would think that Elon Musk’s nightstand would be covered with a dildo with his face on it and several used cum rags from him constantly jacking off to his greatness. But instead, his nightstand is covered with an unlocked gun and several empty cans of caffeine-free Diet Coke (the true sign of a psycho!)- Pajiba
Blair Underwood, who split from his wife of 27 years last year, is now engaged to Josie Hart, his best friend of 41 years. That’s some My Best Friend’s Wedding: The Sequel shit. So while some people are awww-ing over Blair finding love with his longtime friend, others are bookmarking this story, so they have some evidence to bring up whenever their piece says, “But we’re just friends!” about a close friendship – Celebitchy
Over the weekend, Porsha Williams of The Real Housewives of Atlanta married Simon Guobadia, the ex-husband of her former friend/co-star Falynn Guobadia. And Porsha and Simon got married twice in two lavish weddings because double the messiness equals double the weddings, I guess. Luckily for Porsha and Simon, getting married twice doesn’t mean they’ll have to get divorced twice, but then again, they don’t have to worry about that since their everlasting union is obviously going to last beyond their lifetimes – Lainey Gossip
Tish Cyrus (aka Miley Cyrus’ mom) is bumping nipples with Dominic Purcell (aka the hot bald one from Prison Break who isn’t Wentworth Miller). Dominic spent years playing a man stuck with a bunch of dangerous criminals, but I’m sure that shit still hasn’t prepared him for joining the crazy Cyrus family – Just Jared
And Minka Kelly (aka Lyla from Friday Night Lights and ex of Derek Jeter and Trevor Noah) is bumping nipples with Dan Reynolds (aka the lead singer of Imagine Dragons who split from his wife two months ago) – Us Weekly
The Evan Hansens are getting married: Ben Platt and Noah Galvin announced on Instagram that they’re engaged. And somewhere, Colton Haynes might be looking at Noah’s engagement announcement while saying, “That’s fucking pussy bullshit!” – Queerty
Pics: Marvel