Night Crumbs

September 9, 2022 / Posted by:

Ahead of the fifth season premiere of The Handmaid’s Tale next week, Hulu renewed the docuseries (not a typo) for a sixth and final season. Blessed be the TV Gods! Finally. I hate myself so I’ll finish the series, but I may have to avert my eyes every time there’s a close-up of Elisabeth Moss silently gazing directly into the camera. Because if I make eye contact for too long, I may black out and suddenly find myself holding E-meter cans in a Scientology auditing room. I mean, those close-up stares are obviously Scientology hypnotism at work – TVLine

The Don’t Worry Darling drama is paying off so far because it sold out at 21 IMAX locations in 24 hours. Okay, but who wants to see that shit in IMAX and have Harry Styles’ humping crotch right up in your face? I just answered my question. It’s the Harries. Those IMAX theaters better wrap the seats in plastic – Uproxx

Today in Toxic Fans From HELL: Erin Moriarty and Eric “Not Fucking Around” Kripke of The Boys had words for the trolls hating on Erin’s character and shaming her looks, while the Hobbits from Lord of the Rings showed support for the Rings of Power series after racist trolls attacked it for its diverse cast – Pajiba

While I am slow clapping for Vanessa Kirby serving EYEBROWS for eons at the Venice Film Festival, I cannot clap for those oversized marzipan roses all over her chichis and crotch area – Lainey Gossip

Even People Magazine has co-signed the “Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen’s love is deflating like one of Tom’s balls” rumors – Celebitchy

Because Kelly Ripa and Mark Conseuloes want to overtake Kristen Bell and Dax Shephard as TMI’s favorite couple, Kelly says that she once passed out in the middle of fuck times with Mark and it wasn’t because he bored her to sleep. It was because she had large cysts on her ovaries, and since she was passed out, Mark had to dress her for the hospital and he made her look like a “dime store prostitute.” She says that like it’s a bad thing – HuffPo

Joey Lawrence and his wife Samantha Cope are expecting their first child together, and this kid will be his third. Joey’s first two children are named Charleston and Liberty and so he may keep with the East Coast airport theme for names and name his third LaGuardia, but I hope he pays tribute to his roots and goes with Whoah! – Just Jared

Pic: Hulu

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