Hot Slut Of The Day!
The emu who helped capture an alleged drunk driver!
Disclaimer: The emu pictured above may not be the actual emu who pecked at an alleged drunk driver in the name of JUSTICE (or in the name of letting a trespassing bitch know not to fuck with the emus). But the emu above is making the same pissed-off face my abuelita made every time she was about to check me without her dentures on, so I’m going to guess that this is the emu of this story Whatever the case may be, one man ended up in a jail cell in England while covered in shame and emu shank marks after he fled the scene of a crash allegedly caused by him and ended up getting stopped by an emu. Even emus love a good CITIZEN’S ARREST!
The Washington Post says that on Monday, Dean Wade, who just started a chef gig at the Old Bell Hotel in Malmesbury, north Wiltshire was working in the kitchen when he heard a loud screeching. Dean went outside to investigate and watched as a green truck crashed into an empty storefront nearby. As the passenger got out of the truck, the driver tried to back it up and get out of there, but Dean wasn’t going to let happen. Dean said that the man “appeared drunk” and was “swaying” and “staggering.” After Dean tried to stop the dude from driving away, the dude got out of the truck and made a run for it. Now, if I was Dean, the most psychical labor I’d do at that point is pull out my phone and call for the bobbies. But Dean decided to get in his cardio and steps by chasing after the trick.
Dean chased the suspect for at least 15 minutes until they got to the Malmesbury Animal Sanctuary, which is home to emus including an emu mom and her emu chicks. Dean could see that the emu was ready to throw down for her babies and I guess he decided to be nice because he warned the dude. But the drunk moron swatted that warning away and delusionally said that he could fight the emus. SPOILER ALERT: Dumb fuck could not and got taken down by an emu, which eventually led to his arrest. Emu-ve, bitch, get out the way!
“I could see this massive emu,” Wade said. “I’m six foot tall and it was bigger than me.”
Wade said he could tell the bird, which was surrounded by its offspring, was likely to spring into defense if anyone intruded its enclosure.
“Mate, don’t go in there,” Wade warned the man, who he said ignored his advice, replying: “I can fight emus” before heading into the animal’s pen — where he was repeatedly pecked.
“It was stabbing his body all over,” Wade said, causing the man to curse and unsuccessfully attempt to “kung-fu-kick” the animal away.
The bird kept stabbing at the driver, who eventually gave up, fled the pen and headed toward a river — while Wade took the opportunity to flag down a nearby police car.
After the cops tracked the suspect down, he was arrested for drunk driving.
RPU, @ChippenhamCPT and @NPAShq dealing with this minor injury (but extensive damage) RTC in Malmesbury. One arrested following an extensive area search for drink driving and other matters. We are working as a team to clear the scene as quickly and safely as possible. pic.twitter.com/Ne9tTIsu6W
— Wilts Specialist Ops (@WiltsSpecOps) July 25, 2022
And Malmesbury Animal Sanctuary responded to this by letting people that you can’t just show up at an emu’s house unannounced!
https://www.facebook.com/malmesburyanimals/posts/pfbid0uGYwmfeqEDatjeCe9p5xZiySPswdWTXusy6oo5dKBFARumjjMN9VCmpKUbY7ix2kl?__cft__[0]=AZXQ3STEVqS8R4AuOo6bmEDDrmX1T33P6iGazUg4wl2n97N0HO5zb3iLDG67X8eoUzH_pix6yOjipPSzIr0tut207rI3aFIo980vPlo5TQIlDxGfEmAjuRlQPahvYL28b9NYxvV2paZyihTei0kcLipH&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R
So let’s see, a chef and an emu inadvertently teamed up to take down a menace to society. Not only is that summer tentpole feature film material, but it can be a huge franchise. I mean, a buddy amateur cop comedy starring a chef and an emu? Netflix, buy the rights now because THIS will save your asses.
Pic: Facebook