Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Cabbage Patch Kids Power Cycle!
Over 20 years before Chamillionaire sang, “They see me rollin’, they hatin,’“, the true badass chariot that made hos hate with jealousy hit the sidewalk. The Cabbage Patch Kids Power Cycle was a Big Wheels-like chariot that allowed kids to chauffer their Cabbage Patch Kid around in serious style. And since the 1980s was a time when people would shank each other in the neck for a Cabbage Patch Kid, you know people tried to snatch a CPK riding in a Power Cycle. But they didn’t call it a “Power” Cycle for nothing, so you could easily cycle away and leave that thief choking on pastel smoke.
Not long after the Cabbage Patch Kids began to rule the toy game, its producer Coleco Industries, put out all sorts of Cabbage Patch Kids-brand products including the Power Cycle. The Power Cycle was what you’d get if Xavier Roberts barfed all over a Big Wheel. It was a Big Wheel in serious Cabbage Patch Kid drag. Here’s a commercial from back in the day that shows how you could wheel your Cabbage Patch Kids Power Cycle over to the Cabbage Patch Kid Family Playhouse. My little 80s gay self wants to live in this commercial.
There was this little girl in my neighborhood who got a Cabbage Patch Kids Power Cycle for Christmas and rode around in it like she was the shit (and she was). So I knew the CPK Power Cycle existed, but not the Family Playhouse! It’s a good thing I didn’t know about it as a kid because then my mom would’ve come home from work one day to find that I made a For Sale sign out of construction paper and a marker and put it in the front yard. “We’re selling this shit and moving on up to the Cabbage Patch Kid Family Playhouse!!!”
Pic: Pinterest