Hot Slut Of The Day!
Daddy Warbucks’ Skin Condom-looking Bald Cap from Annie Live!
When Celina Smith, who I loved, sang about the sun coming out tomorrow during last night’s Annie Live!, the sun was probably thinking, “Nope. I’ve heard people talking about Harry Connick, Jr.’s nightmare-inducing bald cap, so no, I’m taking a mental health day tomorrow.” Because Harry Connick, Jr. didn’t take a razor to his mane to play Daddy Warbucks and instead wore a bald cap that was so busted it looked like a discount swim cap that they sloppily painted to sort of match Harry’s skin color. And if you’re wondering why Harry went anti-method by not shaving his head to Mr. Clean levels of smooth, his ALLEGED hair plugs are probably saying, “Don’t look at us...” while winking.
A Daddy Warbucks with hair is like Chris Hemsworth with a shirt on. It’s against nature and not right! So it makes sense that Harry’s Daddy Warbucks was not hairy, but I’ve seen better bald cap work on an eleventh grader playing the King in a highly problematic high school production of The King And I. It looked like a cross between the cap you get in an unauthorized Megamind costume from Wish.com and a half-decapitated Conehead. Here it is in action. Taraji P. Henson was chewing every piece of scenery as Miss Hannigan and I wish she would’ve chewed up that bald cap too!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBzIsqGccJc
To paraphrase one of my favorite philosophers, Cher Horowitz, that bald cap is a full-on Monet. From far away, it’s okay, but up close it’s a big old mess. Exhibit A:
I’m enjoying Annie Live, but I feel the bald cap should get its own song pic.twitter.com/wlt2dQfAmz
— Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) December 3, 2021
And exhibit B:
Harry Connick Jr.'s scrunching bald cap???? #AnnieLive pic.twitter.com/BDGJg2tCAP
— Nicole Rovine (@nicolerovine) December 3, 2021
That looks like a baggy condom.
The biggest surprise from last night’s Annie Live! was that it didn’t end as soon as Annie met Daddy Warbucks. Because I was expecting her to look at that bald cap and say, “You know what? I’ve been through enough and don’t need the night terrors, so take me back to the orphanage, please!”
Pic: NBCU/Getty