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Cyprus’ Potato Dick Statue!

Don’t be surprised if in a few days you hear that a record-breaking bowl of mashed potatoes was made in Cyprus because I’m sure there’s a dick-hungry ho out there who will launch themselves on top of that thing and smash the fuck out of it. But until then, let’s all marvel at the spud peen beauty of the magnificent dick potato statue that was recently erected in the village of Xylofagou near Ayia Napa in Cyprus. And no, the statue wasn’t commissioned by someone who gets the hornies for Mr. Potato Head and wanted to pay tribute to his giant potato dick. Reuters says the statue is a tribute to the Spunta, a potato variety that is grown in the region.

The diseased uncut peen statue, which is made out of fiberglass, sits at the entrance to Xylofagou and cost 8,000 euros ($9,300) to make. It’s not done yet, though. They’re going to mount it in stone (wink wink). The total cost of the project will be 15,000 euros. Since the internet runs on dick, it’s gone viral with everyone pointing out the obvious. But Xylofagou’s community leader George Tasou thinks everyone’s brain is possessed by a dick demon! He says potato, I say DICK.

But Xylophagou’s residents are taking the ridicule in their stride, insisting that the beige-coloured knobbly design named “The Big Potato” is a faithful reproduction of its main potato crop, the Spunta.

Community leader George Tasou said those who saw in the statue anything more than a potato was guilty of a dirty mind.

“That is, I think, talk of a mind possessed,” he said.

“Whether we like it or not this potato, the Spunta, is thin and long.”

Okay, George spits at everyone for being sucio gutter-brained dick obsessors and then he goes and says “thin and long“?

Here’s another look at the thin and long wonder:

My homeland Cyprus just erected a giant statue of a potato (A POTATO) that looks like this.

I LOVE MY PEOPLE. pic.twitter.com/ze6KfRzdcp

— Kareem Yasin (@thekareem) October 14, 2021

Okay, okay, it also sort of looks like a nail-less finger or a Channing Tatum monument. But whether or not they know that their “potato statue” looks like a peen statue, it’s still great marketing for the town. Because as that saying goes, when you build a potato dick statue, they will come… in more ways than one.

Pic: Reddit